Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Forgiveness is about letting go of another person's throat.

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<The whole thing is asinine. "Religion" has been the primary impediment to actual relationship with God because it puts rules to something with no rules and creates a mythology about performance -- that we can perform our way into the appeasement of the deity. It also devises rules, but the problem with that is, the only rule to a relationship with God is that love for us exists, there is nothing we have done or can do to earn or deserve it, and it's going to flow unconditionally our way whether we want it to or not and weather we acknowledge it or not. So, the rules cannot bring freedom, they only have the power to accuse. It's really not about God at all; it's about our ability to perform according to whatever the expectations are. We have sort of an accepted rationalism within which we frame religion and we think that belief, intellectually, is the same as relationship. In our Western conversation, that’s become an incredible impediment toward actual wholeness, where the heart and the head are aligned and relationship – with not just God but with each other – is nothing but a set of contracts which are agreed to at a certain point, then signed, sealed, delivered, done. But some of us learn, over the course of our life, that a full spiritual life is not about pleasing God, it's not enough to say we believe in God, it’s more about learning how to trust God, to live in relationship with God. That's a huge watershed, because trust is a whole different ballgame than appeasement or pleasing. Without trust there can be no context for relationship. The world has no meaning apart from relationships. Some are just messier than others, some are seasonal, others are difficult, and a few are easy, but every one of them is important. Pain, however, has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly ... and if left unresolved for very long, we can almost forget that we were ever created to fly in the first place. But if we can be kind and loving towards ourselves, with God’s help, we can begin the process of healing, submitting to God’s overwhelming love as the source of healing. Submission is not about authority, though, and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect. We must always remember, however, that healing is as incremental and mysterious as the damage ... what took time, takes time. Most importantly, forgiveness is not about forgetting. Forgiveness is about letting go of another person's throat. – sort of William P. Young>

Monday, March 27, 2017

The Hunger of First Love

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It’s very easy to sit here, collected and hopeful, and talk of a time when I was unsettled and forlorn, but i’m’a tell ya, I don’t know anybody who can throw a more spirited pity party than me. (It’s funny, I’m thinking of the woman at the party in BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY(s) who stands in front of the mirror and watches herself cry.) While I was in it, so few things felt better than a nice good wallow. “No one here can love or understand me…” And when I was able to reach out, placing myself in the company of loving friends, it almost fueled the fire of my malaise because when you talk about it out loud it’s comical and silly and easily dismissible but "galdernit I’m not done sinkin’ my butt in to it yet so leave me to it !" It’s times like these when the Pentecostals like to pull out this old chestnut: “Press in to God.” It’s different than the Benedictine’s Ora and Labora (prayer and work), which just tells us to keep our head down and maintain The Rhythm and eventually we’ll snap out of it. It’s, instead, an almost substitutive therapy in a way. It’s like when you hear a fantastic new song, or you read a novel from an new author that sounds like a diary from your own heart, and you thoroughly and tirelessly run through that artist’s entire catalogue, finding new inspiration and new treats; it’s a hunger of “first love” that Revelation 2 talks about. It’s one of the reasons I’ve always prayed each day to find new ways to fall in love with my husband all over again (which isn’t hard to do if you know him). It’s turning back, not away, seeing the mundane but with fresh eyes. "Yeah, yeah", it’s easy to say, "yeah, yeah, I get it, but my FEELZ !" and go back in to the cycle of wallowing. I fully support it. But throwing on some moving piece of audio and letting it transport us from this world to the next? Priceless. Illuminating. Refreshing. Soul-stirring. Life giving. Shaking one’s self out of the doldrums can really be as easy as the transition through the rain storm at the beginning of Beethoven's 6th 'Pastoral' straight through to the other side when the sun shines through the clouds and all is breathless and terribly gay again. #LentUnEdited (Symphony here: https://youtu.be/dbfa86bTD34)

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Feast of the Annunciation

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LOVING this. Paula Jackson adds the immediate below to Katie Sherrod's POWERFUL post (snip follows and full text below below): 

</The phrase from the Greek, "Let it be me as you have said." There is no preposition in the Greek. "Me" is in the dative case. Considering that prepositions were available and none were chosen here, the possibilities are left open for our imaginations. "Let the revolution begin / the world be changed through me, because of me, by me, on account of me, with me; let the world-shaking event happen through me. Count me in.></What today should celebrate is Mary's "yes." This should be the Feast of Mary's Courageous Yes, or the Feast of the Agreement. Because, according to the story, the angel DID wait for her reply. It is only after she responds, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word,” that the angel departs. Only with her "yes" could the Incarnation happen. / Mary was no wimpy passive vessel. I mean, look at the Magnificat -- the Song of Mary. Among other things, she says, "God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; God has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; God has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich God has sent away empty." That's pretty stout stuff.>
<FB friends who aren't Christians, just skip this post. It's me venting about a pet liturgical peeve. Today is the Feast of the Annunciation, celebrating the visit of the Angel Gabriel to Mary of Nazareth. Now, I've always thought the name of this feast day is about as outrageous a name as a patriarchal church can come up with. So God sends an angel to announce to a teen aged girl that God is going to impregnate her. Pretty wild, huh? In this version, God sends a messenger to tell her God is going to rape her. God doesn't even bother to break the news in person, although I guess sending an angel beats sending the news by text.
Because without Mary's agreement, that's what this is - rape. You can pretty this up -- and God knows we have with some gorgeous paintings, frescoes, tapestries, etc -- but if you leave the story like that, it's not pretty. What today should celebrate is Mary's "yes." This should be the Feast of Mary's Courageous Yes, or the Feast of the Agreement. Because, according to the story, the angel DID wait for her reply. It is only after she responds,“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word,” that the angel departs. Only with her "yes" could the Incarnation happen. Only with her "yes" could God enter the world and become human. Mary was no wimpy passive vessel. I mean, look at the Magnificat -- the Song of Mary. Among other things, she says, "God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; God has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; God has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich God has sent away empty." That's pretty stout stuff. So let's stop selling Mary short. Heck, let's stop selling God short. Let's celebrate the "yes' of the woman who changed the world.>

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Poop or Get off the Pot / #LentUnEdited

Dear People of God … I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God’s holy Word.
The Book of Common Prayer, Proper Liturgies for Special Days, Ash Wednesday, page 265

The habit of consistently eating healthfully and making correct and positive choices for what goes in our body is good for us. Making sure that on certain days we come home from work and we, instead of flopping on the couch, put on some music and shake our booty, which provides us with consistent opportunities to achieve an invigorated circulatory system. Establishing and sinking in to some patterns and habits, though, can become anesthetizing, often to our detriment. Sometimes when we’re not in a positive space spiritually or psychically, we can find ourselves taking comfort among the company of murmurers, people who just want to gnaw on bones, because it makes us feel less alone, and it sure does feel good to whine and wallow and really sink ourselves deep down in our misery, doesn’t it? A more appropriate and life-giving choice, however, is seeking wiser counsel among people who are dedicated to “whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, [topics of] excellence and / worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8). Sometimes, however, it’s only easy to see that we’re in a rut in hindsight. Sometimes in counseling friends who act like this, it takes a while to realize that they don’t want to be helped out of their muddle, they just want company in it.

We read in Paul’s letter to the Hebrews that we are to “hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering,” to “provoke one another to love and good deeds,” and make sure “not to neglect meeting together.” That sounds encouraging, but it’s not such an easy practice, this meeting together. Following the teachings of Jesus as Christ is challenging enough, but putting together a service which will rejuvenate and elevate our bodies, minds, and spirits on a weekly basis has provided us with the state of the Christian church today: everyone has their own flavor. Some like laser shows and body stirring anthems, jumping up and down and spirited sermons; some like to sit quietly in a room in silent prayer; some like to hear an encouraging pep talk with poems but little Scripture; and some, like us, follow the structure and liturgy of the ancient rites.

The practice of following The Book of Common Prayer is not an easy row to hoe (so much flipping !) and it is my humble opinion we’ve strayed far from even knowing what’s inside it (#LetsMeetInThePrayerBook). We’ve really got to dig deep, ‘cause it may look like there’s not much there, but the simplicity of what’s recorded is powerful and life-changing and I don’t think we pay enough attention to it (and it’s pretty much the document which guides our journey as members of the Episcopal Church).

Thing is, you can come and sit and hear the pretty music and sing (or not sing) and stand and sit and stand and cross yourself and shake a hand or two and sit and stand and kneel (or not kneel) and have “your little cracker” and “your juice” and go on your way, probably rejuvenated, I’m not knocking it, but The Book of Common Prayer asks us to live a life in a consistent rhythm, to pray several times a day, to meet at least once a week, to observe the traditions of a cyclical calendar, and, most importantly, to delve into God’s Word and explore the Sacred Mysteries of the Good News that Jesus sacrificed himself as propitiation, once, for all, and the hardships are over and done, the Law has been fulfilled. We’re to come together to remember that, yes, but also to live in the joy of that Good News.

The bidding I led with is one of the two times in the church year that the priest comes down to the lip of the altar and addresses us personally, in the name of the Church. “~Do this. Observe a Holy Lent. Examine yourself. Turn from your inappropriate habits…and meditate on the holy writings.~”

Often people rush past the “self examination” part and go straight to the “self denial” part … “What are you giving up for Lent ?!” “Oh, I’m not giving up anything, I’m taking ON something!” … The choices people make for Lenten “self denial” has always just slayed me (#NoJudge). All I can ever think of is “reindeer games,” which refers to the Rankin/Bass stop-motion animated Christmas television special “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” (which to me is a painful and personal documentary of school yard shaming and bullying, but that’s stuff I’m still trying to work through). The Urban Dictionary defines them as, “any fun activities which are enjoyed only by members of a clique, the fact of which is often purposefully made obvious to anyone existing outside of said clique in order to make them feel inadequate and left-out.”

I feel like the whole “giving up” and/or “taking on” aspect of the practice of Lent is such an enormous distraction from the first bidding, the deep “self-examination and repentance” we’re called to. If we “give up” chocolate, is that truly a soul-changing revelation and will we truly repent from ingesting it? I’ve heard of some people, and the lack of their understanding of cause-and-effect astounds me having worked in the service industry all of my 20s, who are going to forego dining in restaurants, and squirrel all that money away to donate it at the end of Lent. Meanwhile, there is some poor woman who works a second job as a waitress so that she can afford to get her kids new Easter outfits who is going without that tip. Wouldn’t it be more of a sacrifice, more of a gift, more in the vein of walking with Jesus, to go to that restaurant, have a cup of tea, and leave a crisp twenty dollar bill, just for satisfaction of giving and the benefit of a person working in service depending on those daily tips?

Self-examination is the first thing asked of us. In an age (or because of our chronologic age) where it seems as though we have no accountability to any presiding authority, it’s often difficult to know if we’re inside or outside appropriate boundaries. Here’s a boundary for self-examination: Why do we show up at church? What are we doing there? What are we contributing?

When we show up at church, do we swoop in with tales of woe, asking everyone to notice us, participate in the calamity of our day? “Oh, I’m so sorry I’m late! Oh, what happened to me! The horrors of my commute! Me, me, me!” Do we bring in troubles from the Outside? Or do we wipe Outside off our feet at the doors and come inside to settle in to the peace of the preparation of worship. I’m not talking about a fake smile and a, “Oh, praise Jesus, sister, I’m OK and I’m on my way!” but many of us want to spread our troubles around instead of being bearers of a Good Report. I gotta tell you, as a member of the Altar Guild? In the past? I’ve seen people treat the Sacristy like a Green Room backstage at a high school production of GODSPELL and I would just want to scream, “WHAT ! are you DOING ! here! This is a HOLY SPACE where people are preparing themselves to proclaim the eternal mysteries of GOD ! Why are you here ?! and WHAT are you contributing !” I’ve talked to people in the pews who only come on Sundays sporadically because they just need a “little church,” because “it’s always the same anyway.” Really?? Because the experience is not what’s being presented to us, it’s what we’re pouring in to it, it’s our collective concentration that turns this from a performance in to a Cosmic Mystery. We’re there to lay our lives down on that altar as a sacrifice, in tandem with Jesus’ sacrifice for us and for all, as we recall the preparation of Passover before the ultimate redemptive sacrifice.

Lent starts out demanding we contemplate our own mortality, too. Lent isn’t easy, Lent is a journey in a wilderness. As The Rev. Dr. Elizabeth M.C. Kaeton posts on her blog telling-secrets, <Not The Wilderness.  A wilderness. A place we haven’t yet explored A place as yet unknown to us. A place where we may confront things we have not yet encountered. A place where we can explore our own vulnerability. A space where we might discover the limits of our spiritual endurance.  / Indeed, how does this ‘sacrifice’ which leads us to ‘charity’ actually underscore our privileged status and emphasize – but not bridge –the chasm between rich and poor. What if we came to our eight-week Lenten journey with a real sense of ‘poverty’, with a full sense of our powerlessness and vulnerability and no measurable goals?>

We’re almost halfway through. It’s not too late to take stock and really change our hearts, minds, and behaviours if we came at this year casually or carelessly. It’s also just Spring, a time to pray that God’s Holy Spirit will “Create in us a clean heart and renew within us a joyous spirit” (Psalm 51). A time to shake off what once was, and to make room for a new “me”. To make sure that, when we enter a room, we can give thanks to God, “who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us spreads and makes evident everywhere the sweet fragrance of the knowledge of God. For we are the sweet fragrance of Christ which ascends to God, among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing … an aroma from life to life, a vital fragrance, living and fresh.” (2 Corinthians 2). Let’s take up the practice of being a sweet fragrance, vital, living, and fresh, where ever God leads us, shall we?

(This post originally appears on the Blog of St. Luke in the Fields.)

Monday, March 6, 2017

LENT 2017: It Only Takes A Moment


Scientists at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences reveal that our decisions are made seconds before we become aware of them. By monitoring the micro patterns of activity in the frontopolar cortex, the researchers could predict which hand the participant would choose to use to push a button in front of them 7 SECONDS before the participant was aware of the decision. “Your decisions are strongly prepared by brain activity. By the time consciousness kicks in, most of the work has already been done,” said a Max Planck Institute neuroscientist. Microseconds. It’s exhausting, but we need to be mindful of the fact that the quilt of our lives are stitched together by choices we make in split seconds. When that alarm goes off, what is our first thought? After we turn it off, what is the next thought? Are we filled with excitement and joy that we have been raised up for another new and bright day? Or are we already dreading the day ahead which was just a fresh new gift we received. Do we immediately think about jumping out of bed to thank God for the fact that we have a bed to rise from, we have blankets to cover us, we have a home in which to enjoy these blessings, that we are able to get ourselves up out of the bed? Or do we think, “Ugh, here we go again. What fresh hell awaits me...” There is always that split second we have to set the tone for the day. Engagement in anger is another scenario which offers a very clear microsecond. When we become offended, when we detect a slight or a criticism, whether intended or just coming from the mouth of a careless person, there is a nanosecond where the flush of adrenaline tries to fuel us to pick up the bait of offense and run with it. What we don’t realize, however, is the bait sits inside a bear trap which is more than happy to clamp down on our hand and not let go. General roaring and wailing and gnashing of teeth ensues. We can choose to connect with the flame offense offers, or we can quickly, at the outset, simply say, “Bless her heart, she don't know better” and move on, intentionally NOT engage so that we don't have to DISengage. #Lent is always about bettering ourselves, about recognizing destructive or useless patterns, about making more positive choices in our lives, and it seems it’s just as hard and just as easy as as a matter of a decision made in a split second. So let’s watch our brain patters more closely (and let’s be just as quick to forgive ourselves should we falter). #Lent2017

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Welcome to #Lent2017!

WELCOME TO #LENT2017 ! The Book of Common Prayer bids us, the “dear people of God, to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God's holy Word.” Wuhl, okay. Let’s roll up our sleeves, then, right? The first and most important point is to begin this journey with great hope and confidence. God is never outdone in generosity. So, if we make even a small change in our patterns, that is a tremendous opening for God to work in us. Let’s pace ourselves, though … as we begin these weeks of exercising our spirits, let’s be kind to ourselves when we might resist. Let’s not expect, look for, or demand progress. Let’s enjoy and live the process, even though, as with physical exercise, we might not like doing it every day. Let’s allow God to give the increase, the insights, the progress. “Perfection is a masculine desideratum, while woman inclines by nature to completeness.” … just as completeness is always imperfect, so perfection is always incomplete, and therefore represents a final state which is hopelessly sterile. Imperfection carries within it the seeds of its own improvement. If perfectionism is ever achieved, then the story is over, there’s nothing left to do. Perfectionism is, in and of itself, a death which always ends in a blind alley, while completeness is that silence between the OMs - a breath - and then we’re off again. All final spiritual reference is to the silence beyond sound, the intake of breath between the OM. Beyond the Om is the transcendent unknown, the unknowable. It can be spoken of as the great silence, or as the void, or as the transcendent absolute. That is why the supernatural is really only the natural. This is one of the glorious things about the tradition of seeing God as female, where the world is the body of the Goddess, divine in itself, and divinity isn't something ruling over and above a fallen nature, but we are all one, together, warmed, existing in the womb of the Creator. So let’s snuggle down comfortably in to this nest, be worshipers who worship in spirit and in truth, and begin practices which will result in a truly meaningful Lenten season. (me, BCP, Jesuits of Omaha, Jung, Joseph Campbell)