Bakin' Bacon

Daddy had the patience of a saint and was the KING of "low n slow". He was an Iowan farmer, up at 4 every morning and by the time we lazy bums got out of bed at 5.30 he had a pound of bacon ready, a "Howdy, howdy!" and a "How many eggs to you want for brefkes?" We had bacon and eggs and white toast and grits and butter every single morning...obviously well before Dr. Oz.

I am not good at all at makin' bacon. I don't know why. When I make it for Hoppin' John I take scissors and cut it up in to inch bits and stir and stir and stir. (My world-famous recipe here.) I found this easy peasy recipe about a decade and go and it's fool-proof. I always see that a lot of people put the bacon on a baking rack and place that inside a lasagna pan. I find that this produces a dryer bacon and it takes longer to cook.  I like putting the bacon directly on an aluminum foil lined cookie sheet and it works beautifully. I've never had splatters, I've never had spills and at the end you have about a 1/4 cup of bacon grease ready to make other recipes yummy!

Place slices of bacon on a foil-lined cookie sheet. Do not ! stack them or overlay them, they must be side by side.
Place in a COLD oven.
Turn up to 400 degrees, bake for 20 minutes and remove the bestest crispest bacon you've ever had.

Happy New Year Hoppin' John

Wikipedia has much to say about the theories of serving Hoppin' John on New Year's Day and self-references to a verse from the Talmud about how eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Day (Rosh Hashana) is thought to bring prosperity.  No well-raised Southerner would dare to go to bed on New Year's Day if she hadn't had some Black Eyed Peas.

The laziest way to accomplish this is to open a can of peas, mix it with some Ro-Tel ("a mouth-watering combination of vine-ripened red tomatoes blended with select green chilies and a savory mixture of secret spices") and slurp that up with some Fritos Scoops! (and take some of that Ro-Tel and stir it in to some melted Velveeta for a heavenly treat).

I'm gonna give you a quick-n-dirty Hoppin' John.  It takes about an hour to make.  A more complicated version has you washing, de-stoning and blanching greens, deepening the stock with ham-hocks and soaking peas overnight. Jaybird's Mama has allowed me to provide you with her Mother's High-n-Dry Cornbread here. 

MY favorite is from Rolonda Watts, which I always double:

• 1 box Jiffy corn bread mix, 
• two eggs, 
• 1/4 cup of oil, 
• 16 oz sour cream, 
• 1 can sweetened creamed corn, 
• some chopped jalapeños and 
• hot sauce. 

Use a dark pan sprayed with Pam. 400 degree oven for 40 minutes. YUM !

Quick-n-Easy Hoppin' John

• Cut one pound of thick bacon in to two inch pieces and fry until crispy.
• Reserve half of the grease in a tall skillet and stir TWO CUPS of WHITE RICE in to the grease until coated.
• Stir TWO TABLESPOONS of CHICKEN BOUILLON in to the rice and pour FOUR CUPS of CHICKEN STOCK over that.  Bring to a rolling boil and reduce to simmer for 40 minutes.

[NOTE:  If they can stand it, you want to put 20 shakes of some hot sauce in that water but I'm married to a Yankee and that kind of thing doesn't go over well up here so I generally mix my own in once I've plated it.]

• Prepare TWO CUPS of chopped spinach, kale and/or collard greens from frozen packs.  A ham-hock in that water does a world of good.  So does some bacon.  Drain and press dry.
  
• In the reserve fat, fry up a very large diced onion until translucent.
• Drain TWO CANS of black eyed peas, pour in to the onions and stir, letting those flavours marry.  Before rice is done, stir in to this the greens and all the bacon.
  
• When rice is done, stir in ONE STICK OF BUTTER and let that melt.
• Add freshly ground black pepper to taste.
• When butter is melted, stir in TWO CANS of CAMPBELL'S CREAM OF CELERY SOUP.  (This is the secret to all of Mama's recipes.)
• Stir in ONE or TWO CANS of RO-TEL.  (It depends on how humid it is in the air, whether you will need one or two cans.  This recipe is not soup, it's sticky rice.)
• Stir in the greens/onion mixture.

ENJOY ! !