My Mother's Cornbread by Jaybird's Mama

 This recipe is from one of my dearest friend's mama from my well-worn copy of "The Friendship Collection" created for the members of University of Southern Mississippi-Gulf Coast Elderhostels.  It is what where I'm from we call "High-n-Dry" Cornbread.  It's BEEYOOTEEFUL and it's also fun to make!

"My Mother's Cornbread"

Preheat oven to 450 degrees and get everything ready because this all happens VERY quickly:

• 1 1/2 cups white cornmeal (i've used yellow in a pinch)
• 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs, slightly beaten
• 1 1/2 to 2 cups buttermilk
• 2 tablespoons "shortening" (yes, lard or crisco)

Sift dry ingredients.  Lightly beat eggs, stir together with buttermilk and add to dry ingredients.  "Batter will be thin."

Heat shortening in an iron skillet until smoking hot.  You sort of have to stand sideways to wait until you see huhWHIsps of smoke come off the skillet and you know it's ready.  Pour hot shortening in to mixture (SSSSSSSSSS ! ! !), mix quickly and pour batter quickly back in to hot skillet (ahhhh).  Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

There are beautiful notes on the bottom of the cards in this recipe collection and the one at the bottom of this card says:  "If God shuts one door, He opens another -- Irish proverb"

Happy New Year Hoppin' John

Wikipedia has much to say about the theories of serving Hoppin' John on New Year's Day and self-references to a verse from the Talmud about how eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Day (Rosh Hashana) is thought to bring prosperity.  No well-raised Southerner would dare to go to bed on New Year's Day if she hadn't had some Black Eyed Peas.

The laziest way to accomplish this is to open a can of peas, mix it with some Ro-Tel ("a mouth-watering combination of vine-ripened red tomatoes blended with select green chilies and a savory mixture of secret spices") and slurp that up with some Fritos Scoops! (and take some of that Ro-Tel and stir it in to some melted Velveeta for a heavenly treat).

I'm gonna give you a quick-n-dirty Hoppin' John.  It takes about an hour to make.  A more complicated version has you washing, de-stoning and blanching greens, deepening the stock with ham-hocks and soaking peas overnight. Jaybird's Mama has allowed me to provide you with her Mother's High-n-Dry Cornbread here. 

MY favorite is from Rolonda Watts, which I always double:

• 1 box Jiffy corn bread mix, 
• two eggs, 
• 1/4 cup of oil, 
• 16 oz sour cream, 
• 1 can sweetened creamed corn, 
• some chopped jalapeños and 
• hot sauce. 

Use a dark pan sprayed with Pam. 400 degree oven for 40 minutes. YUM !

Quick-n-Easy Hoppin' John

• Cut one pound of thick bacon in to two inch pieces and fry until crispy.
• Reserve half of the grease in a tall skillet and stir TWO CUPS of WHITE RICE in to the grease until coated.
• Stir TWO TABLESPOONS of CHICKEN BOUILLON in to the rice and pour FOUR CUPS of CHICKEN STOCK over that.  Bring to a rolling boil and reduce to simmer for 40 minutes.

[NOTE:  If they can stand it, you want to put 20 shakes of some hot sauce in that water but I'm married to a Yankee and that kind of thing doesn't go over well up here so I generally mix my own in once I've plated it.]

• Prepare TWO CUPS of chopped spinach, kale and/or collard greens from frozen packs.  A ham-hock in that water does a world of good.  So does some bacon.  Drain and press dry.
  
• In the reserve fat, fry up a very large diced onion until translucent.
• Drain TWO CANS of black eyed peas, pour in to the onions and stir, letting those flavours marry.  Before rice is done, stir in to this the greens and all the bacon.
  
• When rice is done, stir in ONE STICK OF BUTTER and let that melt.
• Add freshly ground black pepper to taste.
• When butter is melted, stir in TWO CANS of CAMPBELL'S CREAM OF CELERY SOUP.  (This is the secret to all of Mama's recipes.)
• Stir in ONE or TWO CANS of RO-TEL.  (It depends on how humid it is in the air, whether you will need one or two cans.  This recipe is not soup, it's sticky rice.)
• Stir in the greens/onion mixture.

ENJOY ! !

Christmas Eve Cinnamon Rolls/Christmas Morning Sticky Buns

 

This recipe is for the Advanced Student, it's a PAIN IN THE ASS and it's worth every second you'll sweat over it.  I've tried to dig out of my sister the nuances of the whole ordeal but it's very "if it's humid, you have to do this" and "if it feels like this you need a little more of that" so I'm going to try to make it at plain as I can.

What happens is, you make this one batch of dough and then you split it in two.  Half the dough goes to make two cake pans of Simple Cinnamon Rolls with a white sugar glaze that are perfect for Christmas Eve dessert just before you go off to Midnight Mass and the other half goes to make those obscene-looking Christmas Morning Carmel Sticky Buns pictured above.  OHMUHGUH, they're flaw-free and they're even better reheated On The Feast of Stephen so, once a year, suck it up and make this recipe...it's a delightful treat.
It ALSO freezes beautifully, so you can make these in some glassware, seal it up good, and pull this out months later for a delightful treat.

BASIC SWEET REFRIGERATED DOUGH

5 1/2 to 6 1/2 cups of BREAD flour (but you're going to need at least a 3 pound bag)

1/2 cup sugar

2 teaspoons salt

3 packages of Active Dry Yeast

1 cup of water

1 cup of milk

1/2 cup butter

1 egg

• Lightly spoon flour in to a measuring cup, level off and place in a large bowl.  I start with 6 cups.
• Add the sugar, salt, yeast and stir that all together well
• In a saucepan heat water, milk and butter "until it's very warm" ... that means that you want to make sure the butter melts but the mixture DOES NOT EVEN COME CLOSE to bubbling.
• Pour this liquid in to the center of the flour bowl.  Crack an egg on the edge of the flour and stir everything together.  My sister has a fancy mixer with a dough hook and her instructions are "Blend at low speed until moistened then beat 3 minutes at medium speed."  My hand mixer is useless so I stir the flour until it's all moist and then I get my hands in there and squeeze them over and over again for three minutes.
• You're going to add 2 or 3 more cups of flour until the dough is STIFF, and I mean you don't think you're going to be able to get your hands through it let alone what happens when it wraps around a dough hook.
• Turn out on to a floured surface (you're using bread flour throughout this whole process).
• Knead in another 1 to 1 1/2 cups of flour "until dough is smooth and elastic" ... this takes about TEN full minutes, I'm not kidding.  And you're gonna use muscles you didn't know you have and I still don't know what my sister means by "smooth and elastic" ... I've been making this for years and I feel like it's a ball of rubber and it doesn't really feel or look like it's going to work AT ALL.  Courage, kiddies ...
• Cover your hands in butter and make the dough in to a ball.  Place the ball in a bowl greased with butter.  The dough is going to expand to more than double this size.
• Cover loosely with greased plastic wrap or a damp cloth. Let rise in a "warm place".  That's a toughie.  I can never find a suitable place so I either turn the oven on 350 and place the bowl on top or I place the bowl in the oven at 150 (make sure it's an oven-safe bowl, trust me on this one lol).  Leave it about 45 minutes.
• (my favourite part) Wipe your hands with some butter and PUNCH down dough in the bowl.  Reform in to a ball and place it on a flat surface.  Flip the bowl and cover the dough with the bowl.  Let it sit for another 15 minutes.

You're all done with the dough.  Use a bread knife and cut the dough in half and you're ready for Rolls and Buns.

SIMPLE CINNAMON ROLLS

1/2 of the Basic Sweet Refrigerated Dough

"1/4 cup softened butter"

"1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar"

"1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon"

(The reason I put those measurements in quotes is, this doesn't even come CLOSE to how much of that you need ... I know I at LEAST double this ...)

• Grease (do not flour) two 9 inch round cake pans.
• On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough in to a 16 x 12 inch rectangle.  This is not entirely easy.
• Cover with softened butter.
• Sprinkle brown sugar over the entire surface.
• Sprinkle cinnamon over the entire surface.
• Grease your fingers with butter and roll the long side up in to itself like a jelly roll, roll as tightly as possible.  Pinch the edges inside themselves.
• Cut in to 16 one inch slices.
• Place the slices cut side down in to the cake pans.
• Lightly cover with buttered plastic wrap and refrigerate from 2 to up to 24 hours.

BAKING INSTRUCTIONS

• Let rolls stand at room temperature for 10 minutes while you heat the oven to 375 degrees.
• Bake for 20 minutes.
• REMOVE FROM PANS IMMEDIATELY.  My sister says "cool on racks" but I've never done that.
• Combine 2 cups of powdered sugar, 4 TABLEspoons of milk and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract (or almond extract), pour this glaze over the rolls and ENJOY !

CHRISTMAS MORNING STICKY CARMEL BUNS

CARMEL NUT COATING

"1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar"

"1/2 cup softened butter"

"2 tablespoons dark Karo syrup"

(The reason I put those measurements in quotes is, this doesn't even come CLOSE to how much of that you need ... I know I at LEAST double this ...)

• Grease and flour a 13 x 9 inch pan.
• Mix the above ingredients together and drop by spoonfuls in to the bottom of the pan.
• I HATE this part.  Spread mixture all over the bottom of the pan.  It's hard at first because the flour gets involved and it doesn't feel like it's going to work but eventually it does.  I always think I don't have enough of the mixture and I threaten every year to double it but it all seems to work out well.
• Sprinkle with 1/4 cup of chopped nuts (as if.  I usually end up using about a half cup).  Walnuts and pecans are YUMMY.

BUNS
1/2 of the Basic Sweet Refrigerated Dough

"1/4 cup softened butter"

"1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar"

"1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon"

(The reason I put those measurements in quotes is, this doesn't even come CLOSE to how much of that you need ... I know I at LEAST double this ...)

• On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough in to a 20 x 12 inch rectangle.  This is not entirely easy.
  
• Cover with softened butter.
• Sprinkle brown sugar over the entire surface.
• Sprinkle cinnamon over the entire surface.
• Grease your fingers with butter and roll the long side up in to itself like a jelly roll, roll as tightly as possible.  Pinch the edges inside themselves.
• Cut in to 20 one inch slices.
• Place the slices cut side down on the carmel-nut layer in the pan
• Lightly cover with buttered plastic wrap and refrigerate from 2 to up to 24 hours

BAKING INSTRUCTIONS

• Let rolls stand at room temperature for 10 minutes while you heat the oven to 375 degrees.
• Bake for 20 minutes
• Turn on to a cookie sheet or serving platter and ENJOY !
• (reheats beautifully, 350, about 10 minutes)

Mommy's Fudge

Mommy didn't really get the cooking gene ... Mama (her mother) and Aunt Edna (Mama's sister) were the COOKS, baybee, and they were FEYUS.  All the recipes basically start with "take four pounds of butter and one freshly slaughtered hog"... Mama never had anything written down and I remember my one sister asked her for recipes one year ... Mama wrote them down and they didn't work.  My sister followed her around one year and found out when Mama said, "one cup" she meant one of the TEA cups from her wedding china, "one teaspoon" was an iced tea spoon (hellOWuh, TEAspoon), a "pinch" was something along the lines of a grapefruit spork (because you pinched the top of whatever it was with the forky park of the spork), one TABLEspoon was what we called a gravy spoon and a "dash" wasn't an 1/8th of a teaspoon ... it's that moment you pour cream in to tea and it mushrooms back up to you.  (My friend, LaWall, best describes it for his coffee order:  "Make it look like Lena Horne.")

I also realised with this recipe why I had never seen a candy thermometer before.  There are a few candy recipes from her and there are very specific directions for when things are ready ... smell, texture, timing ... you know the sauce for the cabbage is ready, not when it boils but when the boiling turns in to a FOAM and comes up to the top of the sauce pan ! and this one is all about stirring ... and stirring and stirring and stirring until you see TWO bubbles.

Sew, other than meatloaf, cole slaw, potato salad and Brownie Stew (mary, don't ask), this fudge recipe was Mommy's pride and joy; she LOVED chocolate and she hid it and horded it.  I used have to sneak pieces of it and she'd SCREAM !  Then she would put a note on the top of the fudge with the number of how many pieces were left.  One year I got the bright idear of slicing little slivers off each one and making my own piece ...

Mommy's Fudge (doubles BEAUTIFULLY)

You wanna take 16 medium sized marshmallows and you want to take scissors and you want to cut each in to four pieces and place them in a bowl and yes the scissors get sticky and no, spraying them with PAM doesn't work and NO, you can't use mini-marshmallows because there's skin on the outside of them and it makes the fudge tough.

Pour 1 teaspoon of vanilla over the top of that and toss a little so the vanilla can soak in.  Now, in a saucepan mix:

• 2/3 cup of evaporated milk
• 1 2/3 cup of white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt

I sift the sugar and the salt because it makes the fudge releh smooth.  Okay:

Place the saucepan over LOWuh heat and every now and again stir until this boils...i.e., when you see THE FIRST TWO bubbles ... not a pop, but when you see it starts bubbling in more than just one place, then start timing five minutes and stir, stir, stir, stir, stir, stir, stir.

REMOVE this from the heat, from the burner, put it far away from the stove.

Stir in the marshmallows and make them melt.  It helps to push them against the side of the bowl with the spoon.

Stir in 1 1/2 cups of Nestle's semi-sweet chocolate morsels until they're melted.

Pour this batter in to buttered containers (this recipe is for a 9" square pan but you can use lots of plastic containers, just as long as you butter them).  It's best to use a piece of wax paper to butter the containers because if there is too much butter then, as the fudge cools, the butter kinda solidifies on the top and it looks yuckie.

Here's the killer.  It's part of two or three of Mama's recipes:

"Place in sun parlour or on attic steps to cool."

Good luck with that one.
The sun parlour, is a south-facing room both at the house in The District AND on the farm in Southern Maryland, and the attic, of course, had no heat, so it's basically saying "in the coolest part of the house ...

you want the batter to cool a bit before you put it in the fridge ... so ... do what you think best. 

Also, know that where ever you put these containers, COVER them somehow, either with saran wrap or waxed paper or an air-tight cover (NOT FOIL!), because the fudge picks up EVERY smell in the ice box ;-)

p.s.:  my husband is not releh a fan of the nuts?  i grew up with a half cup of black walnuts chopped fine and stirred in to the fudge after the morsels melt.  it makes it RELEH good if you like that sort of thing...yummers.

Seasoned Oyster Crackers. You Need Them.

You need to double this recipe because by the time you're done sampling them you won't have enough to turn out to dry.  This recipe is from one of my dearest friend's mama from my well-worn copy of "The Friendship Collection" created for the members of University of Southern Mississippi-Gulf Coast Elderhostels.  It's DEELIcious.

• 1 box Oysterettes (oyster crackers)
• 3/4 cup oil (i really like to mix EVOO with salad oil, I think it gives it a nice *zing*
• 2 TABLEspoons of dried dill weed
• 1 package dry Original Ranch Dressing Mix

Combine the last three ingredients and pour over Oysterettes.
Mix well.
Allow to sit for 1 hour, stirring several times.  (Be sure to taste it often to make sure it's okay.)
Pour out on paper towels to drain and dry out.
Store in an air-tight container.

This year for the first time, since I had it on-hand from a Thanksgiving recipe, a put some garlic powder and some onion powder on top ... it were good.  It makes me wonder if some hot sauce in the oil wouldn't have been a bad idear ... mmm...

The Finest and most Delicate Gingersnap EVER

My sister-in-law LOVESuh ginger and on the occasion of her birthday about six years ago I started developing this recipe.  Last Christmas it was ALMOST perfect and this year I absolutely perfected it.  It doubles beautifully and I strongly urge you to double it.  Once you taste them you're going to want more AND it's such an easy recipe to work that it's the perfect cookie to gift to people.  PLEASE NOTE:  THIS IS THE RECIPE FOR A SINGLE batch, with one notation for doubling:

GINGERSNAPS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mince about an 1/8th of a cup of crystallized ginger and place in on the bottom of a large mixing bowl.
On top of that place:

• 6 TABLEspoons of butter at room temperature
• 3/4 cup of white sugar
• 1/4 cup of DARK molasses
• 1 large egg and
• 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

Beat until smooth (which I found out yesterday some people thing that is a VERY long time and it's TOEtally not, it's like 2 minutes, m'kay?).

Sift in to that, all at once:

• 1 3/4 cups of all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking POWDER
• 1/4 teaspoon baking SODA
• a PINCH of salt
• 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
• 2 teaspoons of ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon each of cloves and allspice
• 1/8 teaspoon of nutmeg (that's literally called a "dash", hardee har)

and here is the modification: for a DOUBLE batch you want to double the cinnamon, ginger, cloves and allspice but DON'Tuh double the nutmeg.  trust me.

Mixie mixie with a spoon.  It feels like it's dry.  It feels like it's chalky.  I actually, toward the end, wash my hands but don't dry them, and mix fully with my hands until incorporated.  That's ALL the moisture it needs.

Now...all of the recipes I've seen tell you to do stupid things to get the cookies on the sheet.  The worst one is "blah blah ball blah blah cookie sheet blah blah flatten with a floured glass".  This is what I've found works best:

Keep that idea of wetting your hands in mind, but don't get them TOO wet or it'll turn the cookie to mush...you'll know when you need to wet your hands.

• Take a large teaspoon of batter in to your hand and roll it in to about a one-inch ball then
• Press that ball in to a flat disk in the palm of your hand and put that on an ungreased cookie sheet.  The cookies don't rise so you can put them very close together.
• Put that in the oven and bake for TWELVE minutes.  You're going to think it's too long and if the first batch burns on the bottom, which it shouldn't, then adjust your time to TEN minutes.
• Get them off the sheet and let them cool.

This is a rich, flavourful mouthful with a nice bite.  I hope you enjoy them.

TED Conferences. You need them.

Your auntie dasch is SEW popular with the populace, especially during the holidays, but something disconcerting keeps happening ... I posted something on my Google+ feed and have been mentioning the contents of the post oot and aboot at some Holiday Swarees of late and, in casual convo, referencing it and other things I've viewed on the TED YouTube Channel and people have been asking me what it is ! I mean well-read-person after finger-on-the-pulse person and they have no idea what I'm talking about with the TED Conferences!  Sew, chilrens, please to let auntie school you, in case you don't know.


TED stands for "Technology Entertainment and Design" and it is a global set of conferences formed to disseminate "ideas worth spreading" through "inspired talks by the world's leading thinkers and doers".  My introduction to the site was through this video:

Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.

 She's LITERALLY a brain surgeon and she LITERALLY, with a PowerPoint Presentation and an actual brain in her hands, walks you through what it was like, from inside and outside, to have a stroke.  It is one of the most amazing things to which I have ever been a witness.  From TED.com:

The annual TED conferences, in Long Beach/Palm Springs and Edinburgh, bring together the world's most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less).

My Google+ post referenced a newish series called TEDx Conferences:

Created in the spirit of TED’s mission, “ideas worth spreading,” the TEDx program is designed to give communities, organizations and individuals the opportunity to stimulate dialogue through TED-like experiences at the local level. TEDx events are fully planned and coordinated independently, on a community-by-community basis

I posted there about this FASCINATING woman, Suzanne Braun Levine, who is writing about "Women in Their Second Adulthood.  She is a "writer, editor and nationally recognized authority on women and family issues and media [who] was the first editor of Ms. magazine and the only woman editor of the Columbia Journalism Review".  You see, your auntie dasch is d'un certain âge, don'tcha know ... that's French for over the hill ... and I'm finding so many parts of her concept speaking to deep parts of my spirit and I found her TEDtalk (below) so interesting because, as she says on her website, "Thousands of women in their fifties, sixties and seventies are living – and defining a totally new narrative. ... we are the first generation who reach 50 and have the possibility of as many years ahead of us as we have lived ..."  I realised if I keep living like I am, I'm not going to live as long as I have and the end part of my life is not going to be too pretty.  I really need to take serious responsibility for my body and in the below clip she says something that has not only healed me viz. diliberately unemploying myself from my last job, but challenged me for the upcoming year:

For many of us it takes a year or more to disengage from structure and habits. It takes time to shed the emotional and psychological baggage of a lifetime ... That's what we do in the "fertile void" ... In the Gnostic Gospels Jesus is reported to have said, If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth is what will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you. The Fertile Void is where that choice is made....

So, anywho, please do yourself an enormous treat, both mentally and spiritually, and take the time to poke around all these sites ... I think they're going to lay a firm foundation for the upcoming year.

Thanks for sharing, I'm sure,
your auntie dasch

Newt Gingrich, the dirty birdy

I got this from Andy Towle who got it from Think Progress LGBT.  I need to take a bath.

Let's just breathe for a second and remember these things:  Gingrich has been married three times:

• Battley, his former high school geometry teacher, when he was 19 years old and she was 26.

• In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther.  According to Battley, Gingrich and their children visited her while she was in the hospital, recovering from surgery for cancer, and Gingrich wanted to discuss the terms of their divorce.  Six months after the divorce from Battley was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981.

• In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich became a leader of the investigation of President Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in connection with his alleged affairs.

• In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther.

This is all within his definition of the SANCTITY of the SACRED institution of marriage.  Okay.

Below is the video of his meeting with the Des Moines Register’s editorial board during which he says things that make my head explode:

Q: Do you believe that people choose to be gay?

GINGRICH: I believe it’s a combination of genetics and environment....

REHLEH ?!?! doesn't he have a gay SISTER?   Does that mean that he dodged this particular genetic propensity? since the environment in which he grew contributed to his sister's "LIFESTYLE"?  (OHMUHGUH ! how i HATE that word ! ! Bodybuilding is a lifestyle.  Training for a MARATHON is a lifestyle.  The fact that I think about women's anatomy about the same as Newt thinks about men's anatomy is not a CHOICE, EITHER ... ech.)  Let's continue with these delusions:

GINGRICH (con't): ...I think both are involved. I think people have many ranges of choices. Part of the question is, do you want a society which has a bias in one direction or another?

Q: So people can then choose one way or another?

GINGRICH: I think people have a significant range of choice within a genetic pattern. I don’t believe in genetic determinism and I don’t think there is any great evidence of genetic determinism. There are propensities. Are you more likely to do this or more likely to do that? But that doesn’t mean it’s definitional.

Q: So a person can then choose to be straight?

GINGRICH: Look, people choose to be celibate. People choose many things in life. You know, there is a bias in favor of non-celibacy. It’s part of how the species recreates. And yet there is a substantial amount of people who choose celibacy as a religious vocation or for other reasons.

oh brother.  but wait! BEFORE this happened, THIS happened when asked about Gay Rights being similar to the 60s and rights based on race:

GINGRICH: ...I think there is an enormous difference between an inescapable fact of race and you have to decide whether or not you in fact you are going to tolerate discrimination based on race and a question about culture, a question about what are your values ...

um ... I scream this to the mountaintops:  WHAT is a more TRADITIONAL value then ME wanting to marry my husband.  WHAT would be a more traditional value than us as GOD-FEARING people being blessed in that union within the confines of our Episcopal Church.  What is more traditional than the beautiful same-sex couples in our congregation who celebrate God's beauty by bringing children in to the midst of their unions.  And guess what ... I can only think of one married same-sex couple in our church within the last 10 years who has divorced.  And they were both healthy at the time ... tee hee.

GINGRICH (con't): ...I think marriage is between a man and a woman, that is a value proposition. ...

hmm...actually that is a RELIGIOUS proposition.   It is not a moral proposition and the only VALUE that proposition has is within the confines of a religious context.  And he keeps using the phrase "value system" when he really means "religious constraints" ... and by "religion" I mean something we can do to earn God's favor versus God's complete and total love of us exactly where each of us is, as God was the one who created us exactly as we are.

GINGRICH (con't):  ...I think people growing up in a structure in which children have parents that they look up to and parents that they relate to is a very important thing...

 um ... me too ... but I'd like to point out to him that his sister and, I would venture to say, every single homosexual I know was raised by opposite-sex parents.  and ... scene.  but let's continue ...

GINGRICH, referencing a question about miscegenation): ...Look ...

Have you ever noticed how men, especially Republican men, always say "Look..." when they're making a point?  It drives me insane.  Watch for it now that you realise it ...

GINGRICH, referencing a question about miscegenation): ...Look, you can always make parallels if you want to. I don't accept that parallel. I think that it is fairly ludicrous.  Nobody is suggesting that we have legal segregation of gays.  Nobody is suggesting  they not be allowed to use the bathroom, they not be allowed to drink at the water fountain.  Segregation was a horrible thing...

 ya think?

GINGRICH:  I am defending a 3,000 year tradition...

uh, yeah ... slavery was pretty popular for a long time too ... just because it's a tradition doesn't make it healthy, correct or Divinely inspired ...

GINGRICH: ...that's very deep in our culture for very profound reasons...marriage being the central building block of society...

I guess that's why he keeps practicing it.

It's funny that this video came out on the same day.  It gives me SUCH joy (and also makes me know why they call us gay lol).  It's two Dads finding out they're going to be GRANpas!:



Before you watch the Gingrich thing, Let us pray:

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For the Human Family, Book of Common Prayer

The Best Chocolate Cookie Ever

2015: After working this recipe for at least 10 years, I have some thoughts at the bottom.

Hershey's has this recipe on their website and it's entitled "Design Your Own Chocolate Cookie" ... I've tried different variations? but JUST the basic recipe is honestly the BEST simple chocolate cookie i've ever had, EVER.  I wouldn't pollute it with adding ingredients. P.S.: it doubles beautifully.

Ingredients:

    * 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
    * 1 cup granulated sugar
    * 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
    * 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    * 1/2 teaspoon salt
    * 2 eggs
    * 2 cups all-purpose flour
    * 1/2 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
    * 1 teaspoon baking soda

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 375 F.

2. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, vanilla and salt in large bowl until creamy. Add eggs; beat well.

3. Sift together flour, cocoa and baking soda; gradually add to butter mixture, beating until well blended. Drop by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet.

4. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until set. Cool slightly directly on pan; remove from cookie sheet by flipping on to wire rack. Cool completely. Makes about 5 dozen cookies.

Christmas 2015: This CONTINUES to be one of THEE most beautiful cookies I've ever tasted in my life.

• I use two TABLEspoons to move the batter to the cookie sheet. The dough is prolly a little bigger than a dollop.
• YOU MUST watch your temp and time. A SECOND over 10 minutes in my oven burns the cookie and that is AWFUL and unfortunate. It's not like other cookies which are charming with burned edges.
• The way the cookie flattens while baking, they'll often come out in a sheet. I do put them too close together, but that's only because I've been working this recipe so long that I know it's not going to spoil the cookie. When I put them on to paper for cooling, I'll let them stay bunched, and then when I flip them or even when I put them up, I'll break them then. The longer they sit out the, sort of, crisper they get.
• This is such a delicate cookie, it's so good. Today was the first time I thought, you know, a chocolate chip would be good in this, then I let the bouquet fully form in my mouth and I thought, nah, I would never want to spoil this perfect bite.

Viking Chippers, the BESTEST Cookie on the Planet

 

I have a dear and beautiful girlfriend I've known since I was 17.  She and many of her girlfriends were involved in a secret sorority we knew only as P.E.O. and whenever there were things they didn't want my busy body to know they'd say, oh, it's a P.E.O. secret.  "What does P.E.O. stand for?" "Phone Each Other," she'd say and she'd leave it at that.  Fast forward three decades and the ladies have come out in the open and have their own website!  The Philanthropic Educational Organization (P.E.O.) Sisterhood is a wonderful international women's organization of about 250,000 members with a primary focus on providing educational opportunities for female students worldwide.

I tell that story because the recipe for Viking Chippers has been a sworn secret among my family for all these decades and it comes from this long line of fine and wonderful women...I've recently been given permission to share the recipe with you, so here goes.  I also just found out that love for milk chocolate and baking inspired my girlfriend's mom to enter this classic recipe in the Glenmont United Methodist Church Cook Book! All I can tell you is, this is THEE BEST cookie on THE PLANET.  It has the perfect crunch, it has the perfect combination of ingredients, it's COMPLETELY fool-proof, it doubles beautifully ... it's just a great all-around cookie.  It's kinda a spiced sugar cookie that happens to have chocolate chips but it also has oatmeal to give it some heft and then it has WHEATIES (!) to give it a crunch.  YUMMERS ! !

PS, when anything calls for "cinnamon" I just always use this blend because it gives everything a nice deep body and my girlfriend tells me this is pretty consistent with the recipe, although it didn't appear on the recipe card I stole from her, I mean, she gave me so many decades ago:

• 1/4 teaspoon cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon allspice
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

PPS, when I double the recipe I double EVERYTHING EXCEPT the cloves ... a little of that goes a long way.

Okay, here goes, The Perfect Cookie:

VIKING CHIPPERS

350 degree oven

1 cup butter (softened)
1 cup white sugar (I sift it)
1 cup brown sugar (I shove it through the sifter ... this gives the cookie a more silken texture)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
BLEND THOSE TOGETHER.  ADD:
2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of baking SODA
1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon of nutmeg
MIX THAT TOGETHER
stir in 1 small package (6 oz.) of semi-sweet chocolate chips
stir in 1 cup of oatmeal
stir in 1 cup of Wheaties

I also just found out, many decades later, my girlfriend puts the batter in the refridgerator for about a half-hour before loading it on the cookie sheets.

Using two teaspoons, push 1-inch balls on to an ungreased cookie sheet. Try not to crowd them.
Bake 10 minutes.
Yields 40 cookies.
(doubles beautifully)
ENJOY !

Oatmeal Scotchies, You Need Them Now

You need to stop what you're doing right now and make these cookies. It yields 40 cookies and it doubles BEAUTIFULLY.

 My husband's cousin convinced me, for the first time in my life, to use Parchment Paper (coupon after the jump!).  Meh.  I've used my pans for years and I feel like the bottoms of the cookies didn't get crunchy like they usually do.  I don't really see a reason to (a) waste the paper and (b) wrestle with it.  Just my humble opinion ;-)  

The "official" recipe is after the jump but I include it below.  I make no modification to the receipe, which is odd for me.  The only recommendations I will offer are these:  (1) When you double it, it's kind of alarming that you're putting six cups of oatmeal all of a sudden in the batter and it "feels" kind of dry.  Stir in as much as you can and then wash your hands but don't dry them and mix the rest of the batter with your hands.  It has a tendency to give just the added moisture you need.  (2)  The receipe says "Drop dough by level tablespoonfuls" and they mean it.  The cookies don't spread ALL that much and they don't rise all that much either.  I take a TABLEspoon and I scoop up and lump and even it off on the side of the bowl.  Then I take a TEAspoon and shove that mound off on to the cookie sheet, 5 down, 4 across and it works beautifully.  (3) The receipe says: "Bake 7 to 9 minutes for a chewy cookie or 9 to 10 minutes for a crisp cookie."  I you only bake the cookie 7 to 9 minutes, WATCH yourself transferring the cookies off the pan.  If you don't use a swift and sturdy swoop, the cookies are going to smush.  If you don't use a swift and quick dismount, they're going to break in to many pieces, so just be careful.  I suggest 11 minutes and then just know that they're going to dry out a little and get nice and crisp.  They truly are a brilliant cookie.
tfs (thanks for sharing), auntie dasch

Oatmeal Scotchies

Ingredients

• 1/2  pound (2 sticks) margarine or butter, softened
• 3/4  cup granulated sugar
• 3/4  cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 2  eggs
• 1  teaspoon vanilla
• 1-1/4  cups all-purpose flour
• 1  teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2  teaspoon salt (optional)
• 3  cups Quaker® Oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked)
• 1  package (11 oz.) butterscotch flavored chips

Preparation

Heat oven to 375°F. In large bowl, beat margarine and sugars until creamy. Add eggs and vanilla; beat well. Add combined flour, baking soda and salt; mix well. Add oats and butterscotch morsels; mix well.

Drop dough by level tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake 7 to 8 minutes for a chewy cookie or 9 to 10 minutes for a crisp cookie. Cool 2 minutes on cookie sheets; remove to wire rack. Cool completely. Store tightly covered.

World's Best Lasagna

I've been cooking since I was little and I can't believe I've never made a lasagna before. It's funny ... I was thinking through all our family recipes and there really aren't any with cheese in it, isn't that weird? and I don't remember having cheeses around. It wasn't until I was in high school I found out about Borsin and then in college found out about cream cheese and brie but anytway, I was jonesing for months and couldn't find a diner anywhere that had a slab so I decided to make it. My cousin Kelly swears by this recipe (very pretty original of the recipe following that jump and I've also included it in its entirity at the bottom for your convenience) and has used it for 10 years. I didn't get to watch her make it and I don't know what went wrong, but I'm gonna tell you what I learned along the way:

Ingredients

• 1 pound sweet Italian sausage
• 3/4 pound lean ground beef
• 1/2 cup minced onion
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
• 2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
• 2 (6.5 ounce) cans canned tomato sauce
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil leaves
• 1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
• 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 4 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Now, that whole bit up there is to make the "gravy", as well call it, the marinara sauce. This is certainly not MY recipe for a good sauce and I guess, if you didn't know how to make one (or if you were in a hurry) you could doctor up some spaghetti sauce in a jar by sauteeing some onion and garlic, pouring in the sauce and adding some oregano and rosemary and thyme. What's above is certainly nowhere near my sauce, there's no reason to add fennel seeds if you have the proper sausage and I don't even want to KNOW what "Italian seasoning" is lol ... p.s.: I used about 2 pounds of meat, 1 pound chopped meat (hamburger) and 1 pound sweet italian sausage.

• 12 lasagna noodles

I have a problem with excess...I don't really know how to cook for just a couple of people, I usually end up with enough for a couple of meals ... okay, a couple of meals for four or five people. However, you LITERALLY only need 12 lasagna noodles. Since I don't shop for them, I had never seen a very creepy thing, "no boil lasagna noodles" ... I don't wanna think about that either, but you may wanna give them a try.

• 16 ounces ricotta cheese
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

This is the ricotta cheese layer. I doubled this and I could have used another half of this. I also was very happy about mixing a quarter teaspoon of nutmeg in this. My godmother is Sicilian and it was a trick

• 3/4 pound mozzarella cheese, sliced

I used about 2 pounds of shreaded mozz and it was good and fine

• 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

I was an idiot and used Parmigiano-Reggiano and it was like a salt lick ;-)

I also decided it would be a good idea to top the whole thing off with slices of provalone cheese and it was one of the most brilliant ideas I've ever had.

You want to salt the water when boiling the pasta. You want to add them a couple at a time and you want to stir them while they're boiling. After you drain them, my friend Ruth said to toss them with olive oil to keep them from sticking. My cousin Kelly actually RUBS them with olive oil. I'm southern, so I tossed in a half a stick of butter.  Butter ... mmmm...

The rest of the recipe is fairly straight-foward ... although ... it says to use a 9x13 inch pan.  What it DOESN'T say is, I think it should be 4 or 5 inches tall.  I used an "ordinary" 3 incher and I was petrified the whole thing was going to end up on the bottom of the oven.  It didn't and I credit that to my scathingly brilliant idea of topping it with the Provalone ;-)

The recipe says to layer "6 noodles lengthwise" ... that doesn't really fly. What I did was sorta tjuzs three of them and cut one for a length-wise topper and made double the layers, which is why I'm sure I needed double the ricotta layer.

I put the pan on a cookie sheet.  I couldn't believe the cooking times were right (Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake an additional 25 minutes. Cool for 15 minutes before serving) but they were absolutely perfect.

HINT: My girlfriend Ruth also told me that the lasagna was even better the second day and she was so right, it was even better later that week.

GOOD LUCK !

World's Best Lasagna

Ingredients

• 1 pound sweet Italian sausage
• 3/4 pound lean ground beef
• 1/2 cup minced onion
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
• 2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
• 2 (6.5 ounce) cans canned tomato sauce
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil leaves
• 1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
• 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 4 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 12 lasagna noodles
• 16 ounces ricotta cheese
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 pound mozzarella cheese, sliced
• 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. In a Dutch oven, cook sausage, ground beef, onion, and garlic over medium heat until well browned. Stir in crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce, and water. Season with sugar, basil, fennel seeds, Italian seasoning, 1 tablespoon salt, pepper, and 2 tablespoons parsley. Simmer, covered, for about 1 1/2 hours, stirring occasionally.
2. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles in boiling water for 8 to 10 minutes. Drain noodles, and rinse with cold water. In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese with egg, remaining parsley, and 1/2 teaspoon salt.
3. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
4. To assemble, spread 1 1/2 cups of meat sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange 6 noodles lengthwise over meat sauce. Spread with one half of the ricotta cheese mixture. Top with a third of mozzarella cheese slices. Spoon 1 1/2 cups meat sauce over mozzarella, and sprinkle with 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese. Repeat layers, and top with remaining mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Cover with foil: to prevent sticking, either spray foil with cooking spray, or make sure the foil does not touch the cheese.
5. Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake an additional 25 minutes. Cool for 15 minutes before serving.

Thanksgiving Morning Pumpkin Caramel Monkey Bread

From our darling +Elizabeth

(sent to her by her friend Louise in Toronto)

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons pumpkin pie spice
4 cans Pillsbury® Grands!® Flaky Layers refrigerated biscuits
1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup butter
1/4 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix)

DIRECTIONS
Heat oven to 350°F.
Spray 6-cup (9-inch) fluted tube cake pan or angel food (tube) cake pan with cooking spray.

In large food-storage plastic bag, mix granulated sugar and pumpkin pie spice. Separate each can of dough into 8 biscuits; cut each biscuit into quarters.
Place 6 to 8 biscuit pieces in sugar-spice mixture; shake well.
Continue to add more biscuit pieces to sugar-spice mixture until all are completely coated.
Layer the biscuit pieces randomly in pan.

In 1-quart saucepan, melt butter, brown sugar and pumpkin over medium heat.
When mixture begins to boil, cook and stir 1 minute.
Pour over biscuits in pan.
Bake 35 minutes or until golden brown.
Cool in pan 10 minutes.
Place plate upside down over pan; turn plate and pan over. Remove pan.
Serve warm.

Flavor boost—For extra pumpkin flavor, double the butter and brown sugar. Add an additional 1/2 cup of pumpkin and save 1 cup of the pumpkin-caramel mixture to drizzle over your warm bread as it comes out of the oven!
Serving Suggestions—This recipe tastes great with a cup of coffee, or a steaming hot cup of tea or a mug of hot apple cider!

you know what would cut the sweetness?
Butter Rum Sauce:
1 stick butter
1 (1-pound) box confectioners' sugar
Dark rum
In a saucepan, melt the butter and gradually stir in the confectioners' sugar. Add rum and heat until bubbly. Pour over each serving

well, that and serving it over french vanilla ice cream

i also had a friend who said you could smear some Nutella on that and it would taste just fine.

NOTE: This is The BEST recipe for Monkey Bread because the caramel sauce is the real deal. BUT ... I made it and I wasn't entirely thrilled and I wish I had been. (A) You really have to make sure the goo goes in and through EVERY layer of the biscuit pieces. A skewer would help. (B) DEW NOT let this get cold. You need to serve it right out of the oven and it only reheats about once.

How long will the pain last?

All the rest of your life. But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last but the blessed memories as well. Tears are proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this be true then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether. For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love but the reward is relationship, which is what God wants from us and for us most of all.

Mercury Retrograde, August 2011

WHEE ! ! ! Here's we go again ... (p.s.: this is a VERY important retrograde because of it's placement in the skies and there's so much good (and so much crappy, imho) information out there so I have gleaned quotes for this post, much of it verbatim and some of it supplemented by my undestanding (and flair, tyvm) from various sources across the interwebs so you can have a better understanding of what's going on. there are links to each of the websites i've quoted at the end of this post. gratzie, i'm sure. PEACE to you and just remember to BREATHE!)

Mercury, http://bit.ly/HendrickGoltzius

From our inherited myths about Mercury (also known as Hermes) we know that he was the only god able to come and go at will from the underworld, the celestial world, this world or any of the worlds. He was not from any one particular place, but able to go to all realms and dimensions easily as the messenger of the gods. The planet Mercury symbolizes the alchemical magic of the mind, how we process information, how we perceive our reality and how we communicate. Mercury is also noted for its quickness and speed as it goes around the Sun every 88 days. Thus, Mercury’s speed is linked to the quickness of the mind. Our minds, our thoughts, our perceptions are not limited by time and space. Our thoughts can take us anywhere past, present, future and beyond this galaxy in an instant.

July 15 to Sept 9 is the Mercury alert zone with Aug 2 to 26 the actual time of retrograde "motion". From our perspective, it appears that the planet of communication stops dead in the water so that WE feel stalled, then turns around, and goes backwards so that we feel it pressing against us. Not so, but it sure looks like it from where we’re standing. It’s similar to what it feels like when we pass a slower moving car and we have the sensation that the car is moving backward...Mercury slows down, reverses direction, slows down again, and returns to a direct motion, much like a pendulum. This retrograde is about "slow and steady wins the race" and about planning, planning, planning ... and then deep breathing when all the planning seems to have been for naught.

Robert Wilkinson says in his book A New Look At Mercury Retrograde, that this timing is an opportunity for us to witness magic revealing itself gaining an understanding of how it works. If the magician slows down we get a chance to see how the magic works. The invisible becomes visible, the unknown becomes known. It is a time for fully exploring the magic and mystery of life in a way that is not always available to us.

Mercury, the “winged messenger”, is the planet which rules communications: emails, telephone calls, letters and text messages all come under his domain. He takes care of your cell phone and your internet connection, your office mailroom and your local post office. Mercury’s there when you book plane tickets and chat over the fence with your neighbour. He absolutely loves gossip and trivia. Twitter and Facebook, with their instantaneous messaging capacity, are Mercurial inventions.

This is all great fun until you remember the bit about “going backwards”, and until you remember that Mercury also has a reputation as a trickster, a jester, and a practical joker. In Shakespeare’s words, he’s “a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles” and he delights in provoking you to put your foot in it for his own amusement.

This is a time of two steps forward and one step back. It can be frustrating in regards to programming, flights, bookings, letters, documents and communiqué of all kinds if we try to rush. Electronics can be tricky. The best approach is to discover what irks us (what we do and can tolerate) and either get rid of it or find a way to see it in a different light. Retrograde Mercury says, rethink, retreat, regroup, reconsider, reorganise, redress.

This is a time to sort through old, worn out perspectives; a time to clear the clutter of ideologies and thought patterns that are entrenched but not useful any more. Retrograde Mercury suggests a time to contemplate this; not to take radical action. Consider the conversation of your life: Is it interesting? Do your friends and associates get what you get or is there a gap? Is the gap only a mental gap? If so maybe the heart connection makes it worthwhile.

It seems, because of the planetary aspects, that the theme of this retrograde is the end of the end but not quite the beginning of the beginning. Chaos, change and revolution. This theme has been strong at least since at the eclipse on the Winter solstice. These factors suggest that our retrograde experience might have something to do with the need for radical change in the ways we think as well as the things we think about.

So … what are the frustrations ... and are we frustrated by misguided attachments? are we clinging to ideas? people? jobs? situations? because they're comfortable? or because we're weary? or because they're healthy and lifegiving.

Try not to become frustrated under complications under Mercury's influence. Communication: Mercury loves gossip so it pays to watch what we say, how we say it, and to whom. Computers: BACKUP YOUR WORK! Save early, save often. (This is not a time to upgrade to Lion, Mac-ies! There seem to be enough problems with the OS right now and you don’t want to complicate that with a full install.) Travel: plan to be early so you can arrive on time. Don’t be frustrated if YOUR plans don’t work out; remember: God orders your steps and directs your path and needs you exactly where you are so be content with where you are and take any opportunity of being stalled to pray: pray for your self and your plans, go through a list of all your FaceBook friends and pray for each of them individually. Just remember that this retrograde needs to be handled with caution, carefulness and retrospection to avoid glitches, personal misunderstandings, delayed, flawed, disrupted communications with ourselves and others. Mishaps that are unavoidable during this period, but many of the frustrations and stresses we experience are sometimes caused by our own carelessness in paying attention to the particulars. Plan ahead, plan ahead, plan ahead and THEN breathe even if your plans go awry. This retrograde is in the beginning of Virgo is saying to each of us that if we always articulate and pay attention to the minute details, we will be playing it safe and be avoiding much of the frustrations and upsets this period can bring with it.

On a positive level, it can also be a great time to reflect on where we’re at in our lives, to go back over the past few months to see what lessons we have learned and how we can integrate them. Reflect, re-examine, re-consider. If there’s an important decision coming up, it’s a great time to detach, take a step back, and look at the pros and cons. Retrogrades are good times for “inner work” that we can all do on our psyches. Much like spring-cleaning the garage or our kitchen cupboards, it’s ideal to take time out and see what attitudes and thought patterns are holding us back.

The coming retrograde will be an extremely important one showing us how to shape our minds to welcome future fulfillment and will give us many signs and signals for what will dominate late August through mid-November. It is a threshold time, where we again look back before moving forward. We can get all kinds of new insights into future potentials, while seeing things in the recent past differently. For all of us, during the next several weeks the future that's already rolling forward will slow a little so we can get a new look at crucial elements of the process we cannot afford to ignore.

(Sources:
http://bit.ly/qUPAAM, http://bit.ly/oHgsOt, http://bit.ly/rhQNOG, http://bit.ly/nd38cl, http://bit.ly/qkuqfb, http://bit.ly/pRVxXK)

I Have Been Healed by the Laying on of Hands

Last week I deliberately unemployed myself after ten years in the same position as a personal assistant. I've found after surviving the Hanoi Hilton of my youth that itemizing and enumerating hurts and horrors is useless. I also believe memories are ground in to your brain like the grooves in a vinyl record and it's worthless to go over them and over them so I tend to take all the scripture references of casting my cares and burdons on God quite seriously and ... I think "I'm doing very well ..."

N.B.: I'm not terribly original, I usually regurgitate things I've picked up along the way ...
I try to write in a fashion where you can HEAR my line readings but sometimes it's an actual line reading i'm imitating so in these circumstances I try to include the original source.
When I say "I'm doing very well" I'm imitating
EDDIE IZZARD from the section of DRESSED TO KILL
which is HILARIOUS and insightful ...
this is a snip from a section called STRATEGIC SHEEP
(which is in the middle of one of the best segments, CAKE OR DEATH)
where he's talking about the building of Stonehenge.
The whole Stonehenge segment is here, "I'm doing very well" is below.

Anyway, there's an entire post that's going to have to deal with the psychological detritus of my separation but I just wanted to give God props for a little thing God sticks all over the scriptures and throughout time, the spiritual and physical healing which comes from the ministration of the application of blessed oil.

I knew I was in deep psychic trouble after I left this job but there was still a lot of Stockholm Syndrome left in my spirit. I felt broken ... I felt a lot of things ... I also realised that in some small part, and here's the syndrome necessarily, because I'm the very best at what I do, I became addicted to my boss's cycles.

“What gift do you think a good servant has that separates him from the others – it’s the gift of anticipation.  And I’m a good servant.  I’m better than good, I’m the best:  I’m the perfect servant.  I know when they’ll be hungry and the food is ready.  I know when they’ll be tired and the bed is turned down.  I know it before they know it themselves.  But you must always serve in silence because they don't want you to be there; they want it to be their idea, you see.”

“What about your life, though.”

“I don’t have a life, I told you, I’m a servant.” -- Gosford Park

I knew if I kept her happy, if I entertained all her whims that she'd leave the other kids alone. I became addicted to anticipating her displeasure, to the expectation of her anger and disappointment ... I became addicted to praying against her prophecies that "no good deed goes unpunished" and that every single thing any one in life ever attempted was going to go down the shitter. And here too, the syndrome in defending her: I don't think she realises what she's saying and the impact it has on the entire universe.

Being raised with the Latin Mass in a Roman Catholic environment, I am an HUGE fan of the sacraments, especially those of Reconciliation (Confession)/Absolution and of the Eucharist (Communion). I heard all my life from the nuns and the priests that if people would only participate in the sacrament of Reconciliation once a week they wouldn't need to go to psychiatrists.  And I trooley believe there is power in that bread and wine and at the monastery there were tales I can't reference of miraculous healings from receiving the Host and of nuns who were under siege by marauders but repelled them by holding up a monstrance which blinded the bad men and assured the nuns safety. 

I know since the introduction of the Book of Common Prayer in 1979 we Episcopalians like to joke that we're "Baptism" folk, centering our identity around that particular sacrament ordained of Christ our Lord in the Gospel and part of that sacrament in toto is the anointing of the sick. I knew I was sick, in my heart, in my body, my mind and my spirit, and I knew I needed healing.

I believe there are spirits among us; I believe there are malevolent spirits as well as spirits of good will. I'm sure there is a personage, Satan, the detractor, the accuser. I also know the depths of my examined life and when I listen to my pentecostal teachers use the words "evil spirit" and "the devil" in connection with bible verses the more I'm convinced that they are actually defining the damaged part of our subconscious which tells us that we are unloveable, the we are unworthy, that God has neither concern nor care for our wellbeing. It surely doesn't help when those voices are also outside of us yelling, screaming, whispering, lying. The fact that we let them sound inside of the most sacred part of us, the eternal part, our spirit, is truly unconscionable and I believe it was the totality of Jesus' teaching to tell us to still those voices and BELIEVE that we are unconditionally loved by God ... We are loved and there is nothing we did or can do to earn it or deserve it and the faster we can grasp it then the faster we can start living lives of joy, spreading peace under sparkly rainbows as we square dance with unicorns in the glen ... lmao ... sorry ... sometimes I read myself for getting all serious and it cracks me up.

So ... praise God we have a Healing Service after Mass at my church and last Sunday's Gospel was all
"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ..." and I was like, gewrl, auntie needs some rest, so I stayed for the sacrament. Here's what Father Hugh says over the oil:

O Lord, holy Father, giver of health and salvation: Send your Holy Spirit to sanctify this oil; that, as your holy apostles anointed many that were sick and healed them, so may those who in faith and repentance receive this holy unction be made whole …

Then I told Father (through a wall of blubbering) what I believed to be the specifics of my major malfunction (numbnuts): I needed the smut of the last 10 years removed, I needed to be rid of any pride I might have in thinking my problems larger than they were and I needed to regain courage and confidence, having perceived myself to be beaten down, used and uncared for. Father Hugh goes:

I lay my hands upon you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, beseeching our Lord Jesus Christ to sustain you with his presence, to drive away all sickness of body and spirit, and to give you that victory of life and peace which will enable you to serve him both now and ever more.  Amen.

and then he whispered, "BE HEALED, david ..."

(p.s.: this service is Ministration to the Sick from the Ministry with the Sick.)

LITERALLY, chilrens, LITERALLY I felt my bondage break and over the last few days seep away and drain out of the soles of my feet. All I can say is "I believe, there is love in heaven" and "all will be forgiven". I just know the hardest things are: letting go, learning to receive the love directly from the source of God and forgiving myself.

(http://youtu.be/SY1VLM2pTqY
Track eleven of Spring Awakening's original broadway soundtrack.
Spring Awakening Cast sing I Believe.
No copyright infringement intended.

Image Credit: sarahgrace24601 @ LiveJournal)