IT Doesn't Get Better ... YOU get better

And God answered me and said, 'Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may be able to read it easily and quickly as they hasten by.  For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end, to its fulfillment; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.'  Habakkuk 2:2-4

There's an old chestnut when hunting for a mate:  when you decide to "let go and let God" deliver your soul-mate to you, THAT'S when your soul-mate will appear.  I always thought that was a load of hooey but then in talking to a friend last night I realised the importance of this maxim.

When I was single, just as the Earth was cooling, I would go out searching, looking for my husband in every one I saw, trying to fit these random people in to the ideal I had devised for my life.  It was only after I made a specific list of the specific things I needed in a husband, the specific things I wanted in a husband and the specific things I felt would bring my life perfection through our marriage centered in God that God brought my husband right in to my lap.  (okay, it took 43 YEARS for me to perfect this list, but Noah waited a hundred years or so for it to start raining, so who am I to complain...)  God requires our trust.  God requires our confidences AND our confidence that God knows best for our lives but imho I think it's only when we lay our desires at God's feet that God is faithful to deliver the desires of our hearts to us.  God delivers us what we are focusing on and that's where we need to be careful.  What I found when God introduced me to my husband was that not only did God tick off every desire on my list, but my husband also embodied attributes God knew I needed in my life that even EYE didn't realise I needed.  It was only after EYE had given up searching that God provided, only after I had a list of positive attributes to concentrate on for my soul-mate that God had something to work with.  Once I had turned over COMPLETE control to God's provision did God then gift me the perfect husband for me.  Once I embodied the faith and trust in God's provision, then I was able to go out in to the world with no agenda, free to "merely" enjoy myself, and to leave the matchmaking to God.  Only then could I get about God's business:

<God has given us the task of telling everyone what God is doing. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between each other and with God. Become friends with God; God’s already a friend with you.>  2 Corinthians 5:14-21

You have to remember I grew up in a much different time, the early 60s ... my parents were in their 40s when they had me and my sisters were 10 and 14 when I was born.  I was raised to have the mind of a very old man with the spirit of a very innocent 12 year old girl, which I hear still exemplifies my spirit to this day lol.  But every day in junior high school I was beat up and punched and kicked and spit on because I was a fairy (mary, i was a FAIree!).  I just KNEW if I could make it to college I would be okay ... I would be among my peers, people with whom I could have conversations about things EYE loved:  musicals, cute hairy guys, broadway, cute hairy guys, movies, cute hairy actors, fashion, cute hairy guys ... I remember my first month at college and the first time I walked in to a room filled with homosexuals.  We were picking up people on the way to an event and there was a living room filled with The Gays, falling all over each other laughing, hugging each other, big kisses on both cheeks and I was flabbergasted ... "oh, God, PLEASE one day let me feel this, please one day let me have hugs and kisses and a group of people who know me better than I know myself".  I also remember my first audition at Actor's Equity in New York City.  I had flown up from Maryland on PeopleExpress for $12 and was in the Equity Lounge.  EVERYone knew everyone else and I thought, "oh, God, wouldn't it be the kissiest thing if I moved to New York, the biggest little town on the planet, and walked down the street and ran into someone I KNOW ?!?!"

God provided that family for me and 30 years later I still have some of the same people surrounding me.  FaceBook has also reconnected me with the very people who helped form me and shape me from a broken, skittish, tortured, unloved mess in to the fabulous man I am today.  Truth is, all these decades later, every time I run in to someone on the street in New York I know i DO (!) feel that completely kissy ... even though I've lived here for years, the answer to the simple prayer of "God, please surround me with family and make me feel a part of that extra special something that the Holy Spirit has witnessed inside of me" still makes me giddy.  Just like when I look at my husband and breathe a special prayer thanks for God's provision.

Let go ... let God ... and know that God is working to perfect you in the way God has formed you, that God is working to perfect your mate just as God is perfecting you for your mate and stop grasping at straws, stop trying to make just anyone fit the mold.  The specific person will be the lid to your pot, not someone who will simply "do".  God is the author of time and God knows when the perfect moment for you two to meet is ... meanwhile, let's <renew our eagerness to work with God in building a better world, so that our friends may hear God's gospel of peace and justice>.