And that's the truthhhhhhhh ...

I have to pull myself back from the past so often that I could be a rubber band high flying act with a Cirque show, I’m not kiddin’ … but different from those waterfalls of shame from my remote yoot which populate a majority of those gambols down memory lane, I often think of the OUR TOWN gag with Em’ly Webb wanting to go back to visit home after she dead. That too is different from the basic chestnuts along the lines of “OH ! To be young again ...”

I don't wanna be young again.

I wouldn't mind SPRINGING up off a chair again, I would LOVE to sit on the floor to read the paper ... sorry, I would love to be able to GET BACK UP OFF the floor after reading the paper ... but go back to before? That's a sack of cold chestnuts, Mister ...

The first negotiation point for me would be

:==> Would I know what I know now back then?

If I did, could I affect history?

If I couldn’t affect history, then what a cruel fate; I can’t imagine a worse purgatory.

What would be the point, no … what could be more painful than going back in the past, knowing what you know now, and not being able to fix anything, not being able to TALK THROUGH things with people, not to be able to tell people, OH ! JUST WAIT ! Glad Times is Just Around the Corner !

and then, the waste ... just having to sit there and watch the waste, the waste of time, the waste of energy, the waste of moments you could HAVE BACK and make better USE of … the years you spent doing “this” because you were in such pain from “that” ... buh …

If I hadn’t been in that pain and hadn't gone off to do "that" instead of "this" then I wouldn’t have met people, some of whom are my trydest and truest friends to this day. I couldn't have said things randomly to rando people who have come back to me years later to say, you'll never know how that random thing changed my life ...

Let's try this one:

:==> Would I know what I know now back then?

No?

Then calmly I say, if I were just placed back in time ignorant of the future? then this entire incarnation would TRULY be a cosmic joke, wouldn’t it? and that would make The Creator cruel, too bloody cruel, and I know cruelty, and I know true beauty, and I believe in my heart of hearts there’s just too much beauty in the world for that to be true.

No, what I’m talking about is that kind of being young where you know that you know that you’re right.

What you DON’T know, because you’re young, is that you may be “right,” but you’re not “correct.”

If you were correct, you wouldn’t have to insist the other person is “wrong,” even while saying, “I completely understand what you’re saying, but the TRUTH is …”

How rude …

How smug, how priggish … are you KIDDING me?

You don't know what the truth is ... "You're so young you can wash your face with Lemon Pledge, it wouldn't make a difference." Richard Wall ...

Know what? in REAL olden times you had to WALK everywhere, and I don’t mean up the block, I mean to JERUSALEM, I mean like DAYS, like, ohmuhguh are we THERE yet ?! I mean like, ohmuhguh does he have to pee AGAIN ?

But also, OH ! the stories ! and the SONGS and the distrations of simple people without electronics

and if you don’t like the story being told, go back there, your uncle is telling another one.

OR !

When your uncle would say, “Well, that’s the way your MOTHER tells it, but what REALLY happened was …”

That’s what the Gospels are made of … those are the differences in all the Gospel stories … that’s why they’re all so DELICIOUS … that’s why it’s so hard to watch white gentiles who have dedicated their lives to other white gentiles who hijacked the pagan culture, the Roman gods, the Greek gods, the Celtic stories, THE GODDESS, Jewish culture, Jewish heritage, Jewish alef-bet, the Jewish God, and cut off all the original people who had studied all those things, put their male whiteness all over a simple discussion about whether something could be two things at once, or three or a cornucopia ! of things at once, and the answer comes back, . “I completely understand what you’re saying, but the TRUTH is …”

hmph.

The truth.

Wanna know a low-down dirty dirty truth?

Jesus …

pooped.

Jesus had to stop every now and again and squat down in the earth and find something to wipe with ‘cause Jesus pooped.

“And that,” said Edith Ann, “is the truthhhhhhhhh …”

Selah.

A Wise Woman once led me to this Understanding:

The closer a person is to God, the less noise they make, ‘cause there are no answers a human can offer about God, you have to spend time in God’s radiance to even come close to The Knowing.

The closer a person is to God, the less they need to protest anyone’s contradiction of their understanding of God, since God is all things to all, and we are each made in God’s image.

I can pretend what it’s like to walk around as you, but I can never come close to imaging what it’s like to walk around inside as you.

There’s nothin’ nobody can prove to nobody … you can try to convince somebody, but that's not proving it, and until somebody have an Experience, an Awakening, a Meetin’, an Enounter, that person is just gonna have to take your word for it and that still doesn’t prove nuttin.

The closer a person is to God, the more compassion that person feels for people who aren't closer to God, 'cause you can see when others really need to spend time with God? they're ... noisy and twitchy, ain't much joy, just a lot of Uptight and Rightness ....

The greater the Quest for Wisdom, the closer a person is to God, for the closer a person is to God, the Truth is Evident:

God is Errthang and we’re not even close to knowin’ none of it. xoxo