It's HARDER than Homeschooling

This woman is a personal hero of mine. I've know her since before the kids, and you should know she has successfully homeschooled a 14, 13 & almost 11 year old since grammar school, and by successfully I mean they haven't killed her (yet), and she hasn't killed them yet, either. They are brilliant and loving and curious and helpful and interested kids, if you met them your heart would melt and you'd have some of THEE MOST interesting conversations you can imagine ... so if you're navigating this situation right now, this is the best advice around, imho xoxo

" Hello to all the people who have suddenly been thrown into homeschooling. This is a crazy situation. I’m hoping it might help you if I share some advice based on my homeschooling experience. Just as each school is different, each homeschooling family is different, and that’s to be expected.

First of all, the situation you’re in is harder than homeschooling. All sports and extracurricular activities have been canceled. Museums and other great learning institutions are closed. People are being slammed on social media for being outside. Those of us who have been homeschooling are nervous too. We know all the things that we can’t do right now are the things that make homeschooling in NYC (and other places) great. They are the things that keep us balanced, happy, and sane. So please keep in mind, being trapped and schooling is not the same as homeschooling. This will be harder and much more socially isolating. I’m not telling you this to be a downer, I’m telling you so you know you’re not crazy when you struggle with it. Those of us who have homeschooled through multi-record-setting-blizzard winters absolutely sympathize.

Now, let’s move on to the good news. This is a great opportunity to cater to each child’s learning style. Has your kindergartener been struggling with sight words? Try teaching them phonetically. Does multiplying fractions cause meltdowns? Google some videos of other people explaining it until one clicks for them. This can be a great time to help a child improve in areas where they’ve been struggling.

If there is an area that you feel your child needs extra attention, you might want to get a curriculum supplement that caters to their weaker areas. I recommend browsing Homeschool Buyers Co-op. They offer group buys to lower the cost of popular curriculums and supplements. Their reviews can also help you decide if it would be a good fit for your child.

GENERAL TIPS:

(I hesitated to share these. The most important thing for you to know is you should handle this in whatever way works best for you. However, some of the things that I feel help me the most took me a while to figure out. So just like all other parenting decisions, pick and choose what to try in your house.)

-Be gentle on all of you. This is a huge adjustment being made during unusually limiting times. It is not going to be fabulous. Aim for decent and celebrate anything beyond that.

-Modify your schedule to work for you. If your school doesn’t require your child to login at a certain time, feel free to adjust it. Ease your stress and cater to what your family needs right now. You can do 4 longer days each week, or 6 or 7 shorter days to accommodate parents’ work schedules. Splitting up your day with a big break in between can also ease the tension of a long school day. Think outside the box. As long as they are learning, it’s fine.

-Use your time wisely. Let your child quickly do the subjects that are easier for them. Let them take more time on other subjects. This is one of the biggest advantages of homeschooling. Enjoy the flexibility of not having a typical schedule.

-If you have multiple children, rotating subjects and breaks helps a lot. Help one with math while the rest read or work on a subject that doesn’t need much assistance. Sometimes having an older child help a younger child works well, and helps them both. Letting one have a break while the others work also helps each child feel they have a little time “alone” while stuck at home.

-Concede on things that don’t matter. Continuing to learn and make progress is important. Brushing teeth is important. Getting fully dressed, which offers so many ways to delay the day, might not be important. The current rule in my house is they must have eaten and brushed their hair and teeth before we start school. If they are ready early, they can use that time to play or do what they’d like. The personal time they have before school really helps them focus better during school. On days they don’t have time to themselves, the whole day is more of a struggle.

-Jumping jacks or pushups as a quick break can help get out frustration and refocus a kid when you are both ready to lose it. Assign it as an exercise to get blood pumping to the brain, not as a punishment. You’re all in this together.

-Moving locations can help them focus, depending on the kid. Some focus better in one spot so they don’t get distracted. Some will find every distraction they can when they are left in one spot for too long. Separating siblings in different rooms sometimes helps. My kids tend to switch spots every time they do the next subject, and it works for us. One of my kids does his math standing at the kitchen counter and it helps him more than any other thing we’ve tried. He moves around while he’s thinking, and he’s progressing faster than when I had him sit at a table to do his math. My other two sit to do math or they’ll just wander away.

-Do let the kids take a break a few times each school day. Depending on how challenging their work is before or after the break, we usually vary their breaks from 10-20 minutes.

-Just like other areas of parenting, people will tell you the “right” way to do it. Co-sleep or cry it out? Breastfeed or formula? Strict learning at a desk or discussing history while hanging upside down off the couch? Listen/read for tips that might work for you, and then do it your way. If it’s not working, try a different way.

-Don’t feel you need to know it all. It’s good for your kids to see you assess what’s working and try different methods. It’s a skill you want to teach them. And if you don’t understand the lesson, google it together. Going to library is out of the question right now, but you can still teach them how to be resourceful.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few things, so maybe I’ll edit this later. But for now, know all of the homeschoolers are pulling for you in this strange time, and we’ll respond to your questions when we are able to. This is a tricky time for us as well, but we certainly have a head-start here and most are happy to help where we can.

Wishing good health to you & all who are important to you,
Rindy
NYC Homeschooling mom of three (ages 14, 13 & almost 11) "