we have each been wonderfully specifically made by god’s hand, stitch by stitch, exactly the way we are. now let's take seriously our birthright and live lives of radical joy and praise and thanks.
Monday, June 29, 2020
Mommie Dearest
#LentUnEdited This is NOT a cry for help, I'm so good, I'm just sharing something that took maybe THREE SECONDS this morning, but it happens every couple of years and I thought I'd SHARE it. LOVE you !
Mommy was a "manic depressive," which we now know as bi-polar disorder, but we wouldn't have known that then either, because thinking was on her side, you don't GO to a doctor, 'cause when you GO to a doctor they find CANCER, then they cut you open, and it spreads all over, and "next thing you know, you come home dead."
Praise God I've managed all these years to keep fortified my barbican, but sometimes I can see shadows of the cousins of the spirits who tortured my mother all those years, I feel them trying to creep up in underneath my lungs, cloud my head, rob me of a morning's pleasure, like Dementors, I guess, and I've got some quick seconds to "chase all the clouds away ..."
There are some mornings I'll do some little thing, one of the repetitive tasks to keep the balls in the air, keep people alive, keep the train on the track ... this morning it was after I'd fed the kitties, reaching for a bowl to do the next thing, and then it sorta hit the front part of my brain and curled me over for a second ... thinking how this day was no better than the last, and what's the point of it all, and i'm never gonna be able to dragazz through the same old tired routine that takes over every morning after I'd fed the kitties, reaching for a bowl ... doesn't matter anyway, the day's just gonna fly by with nothing to show for it, just like the last one, and can't I get a moment's peace just to sit down and breathe?
and I thought,
you dirty thankless bastards, chalky, tacky, dull thieves of light,
you desperate spirits of ill will, you're not gonna feed on MY soul and steal MY joy,
be gone ! you have no power here !
and I picked up that bowl like it was a priceless work of art given me by god's own hand,
and I called BACK to mind every. single. one. of the MULTITUDE of blessings i've been given in this incarnation,
and remembered the responsibility i've been given to tend to my corner of god's magnificent garden
and here we are to sing and dance and make Merry like Christmas, mereh.
I found this poem a decade ago by Vicky Richards, and it's one of those things you think, "OH ! I'll cut this out and send it to Mommy, I wonder if it would give her release, if it would help soothe her troubled spirit," and then you realise Mommy's been dead for many years, and you wipe your eyes and move on. I thought that too about NEXT2NORMAL and the truth of I MISS THE MOUNTAINS, 'cause I really think it addresses how exciting and comforting feeling manic is versus feeling nothing at all ...
I've never wanted to go back and be young, relive my past, it was too painful trying to get here where I am today,
and I've never wanted to go back with the knowledge I have now because I know you can't teach nothin' to nobody nohow,
but my heart will always go out to the old gal who used to sing, "You're gonna miss your big fat mama one of these days," just after she'd say, "don't you worry about that, kid, I'll be dead and rotten by the time that happens ..." xoxo
---> Sometimes, you’d rather sit there and sob into eternity
Than feel a joyful ecstasy.
Your body wracked, your wit’s end is endless and you stay there indefinitely.
Looking over into the gorge, all you want is to throw yourself over, to give in to the pain and live out your days a hollow, hurting skeleton.
But you love the view too much to do it,
So you stand and you stare
Into the seabed of your tears
All the reasons why
And why not
And the could haves and should haves and days you hated yourself
The things you could not do, the times you were not perfect.
It is an ocean of self loathing full of salty, unrealistic expectation.
But in this sad desert, this raging storm, this churning sea – that is where you find it.
That is where it finds you.
Lying helpless on the ground,
spent and shaking,
eyes shut so tight they may never open again.
All I can feel is the rhythm of my tears pounding out the beat of my life force,
I want it to end,
I never want it to end.
And then one moment you’ve hit a wall
And the world falls away
And then I can feel it.
This tableau still laid out all around me, my hands touch earth and I find a plateau
And above me I can see it.
Myself.
The part of me that is most me, standing there waiting, strong and stoic and full of grace.
A weeping willow with arms outstretched, leaves twining together to lift me, safe, out of the storm.
Waiting to embrace this shivering mess of humanity it says,
“Come here, now, little one. All is not lost. Stay a while with me, you’ll see.”
It is in these moments where I find my strength.
When I hate it all so much that the clouds roll in and the air supply runs out,
When my constant, blessèd life turns into a string of cursed regrets
And good runs away
This is where it runs to.
If you wait long enough, it finds you on the edge
If you listen well enough, it will call you back from the places you wish didn’t exist
If you want it bad enough, you’ll never lose it
So long as you live, it will find you.
But you must live.
To live is more than to just exist.
Pursue. <--
On The Right Track
I spent a little time in high school at the Latter-Day Saints' early morning religious education programs and learned SEW many fascinating things. I was reminded of their POSITIVE interpretation of Adam and Eve's Fall from Grace yesterday during The Rev Dr EMC Kaeton's sermon.
It reminded me of something a pentecostal preacher said to me once, "There is NO WAY to step off God's path for your life, never worry about that. If you leave a ministry, there's a Substitute right around the corner, just like you are taking up for a lack in the universe somewhere else with your new beginning. Do you think any of your choices SURPRISE God? You get the choice, you choose, God lays straight your path with blessings, get it?"
Isaiah says, "You will go out with joy and be led forth by God with peace. God's word be which goes out of My mouth will not return to Me void, useless, without result, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."
The Good Doctor said, << We have free will AND the gift of grace, no matter our choice ... You see, my friends, we all have within us a divine spark. Each. And. Every. One. Of. Us. No exceptions. We all have the potential to do enormous good and terrible wrong. It is our choice. And, it is our responsibility. ... Grace to find hope, no matter how dark the future may seem. >>
Don't know if you know it, but Mormon cosmology puts a positive spin on The Fall that I've always found refreshing, and cleared up aye LOT of stuff for me:
It was a necessary step in the plan of this beautiful life we've been given on this earth. If it weren't for The Fall, we wouldn't have these amazing physical bodies; we wouldn't HAVE the right to choose between good and evil. we wouldn't know "opposites." How could we recognize "joy" if we didn't know a life without it. With the "gift" of this choice, God knows The Grateful Ones. We're not mindlessly living in God's blessings, living thoughtlessly, all these blessings as a given; without "lack" how would we know "bounty."
The Fall gives us the opportunity to actively participate in mitzvahs that are God gifts to us: Part One, God offers; Part Two. we mindfully accept; mitzvah complete.
Problem with choosing is, we have to reach out, step out, listen to the still small inner voice that inspires us to try something new. If the worry is ever that our courage will result in lack, then we're not recalling The Sacred Stories ... Mama Will Provide (#OnceOnThisIsland #MusicalComedyDamage), "Jehovah Jireh, my providuh" ...
Speaking of The Sacred Stories, it's just like the Bunjee-Jump Ride Operator says to Selena (in the BioPic #Selena) when she's too scared to leap: "The Hardest Part is The First Step."
We gotta Trust and Fly. We gotta trust that whether we get pushed out of the nest, or whether we decide to step out of the nest, that we're gonna soar, we're gonna fly ... God's palm is right underneath us ... "we have the gift of grace ... no matter our choice ..." xoxo
Monday, June 22, 2020
Grant us our prayers of yearning for healing
<< In the beginning, O God,
you shaped our soul
and set its weave.
You formed our body and gave it breath.
Renew us this day in the image of your love.
O great God, grant us your light.
O great God, grant us your grace.
O great God, grant us your joy this day
and let us be made pure in the well of your health.
O Christ of the road of the wounded,
O Christ of the tears of the broken,
in us and with us the needs of the world.
Grant us our prayers of loving and hoping.
Grant us our prayers of yearning for healing.
Pray for the coming day
and for healing
within and among all people.
Amen. >>
Copyright © J. Philip Newell, Iona
Jesus Loves You
There's a theme this month, and today is its Feast Day and that's The Sacred Heart of Jesus. It boggles my mind that we're always SO ready to turn everything in to some selfish, the prayers for this feast are complete self-mortification when the original intent was LITERALLY Jesus saying, "Hey ! I love you ! ! "
As was taught me, Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque was a child filled with prayers and love for God, and then was living her best life. She came home from a Carnival ball ! one night, and Jesus shows up ! and he reveals to her his huge heart. He's like, "Remember me?" and she's all, "Ohmuhguh, I'm SO SORRY ! I've forgotten you !", and he's, like, "No way! Stop. It's just, I wanted to show you how much love I have in my heart for you and the entire planet ! There was one time in your life you wanted to devote yourself completely to telling the world about God's love for them, but the path you're on now takes you away from that singular charism ... either way's good, but meanwhile, I love you !"
and so she went in to the Visitation Convent at Paray-le-Monial (where, by all reports she wasn't a very good nun but won Miss Congeniality ever year she was alive), and through her prayers experienced levels of mysticism we're still talking about today (Jesus loved to zap her with hand rays, picture in first comment).
So, Jesus loves you, this I know, for Margaret Mary told me so. xoxo
Solstice Solar Eclipse and New Moon 2020 006 20
Total “Ring of Fire” Solar ECLIPSE on the ✜ SOLSTICE ✜ with a NEW MOON at 0 degrees of Cancer, as well as the other alignments present, make this a rare “seed” moment turning point.
In the darkness of this eclipse we are safe to let it all go, to be no-one, no-thing, and yet everything, sure in the knowledge we can make ourselves anew at any moment, contribute to the universe, and know for certain that nothing can steal the essence of who we truly are.
Summer solstice 2020 begins tonight at
5:43 p.m. EDT.
The Solar eclipse starts tonight at
11:45 p.m. EDT Saturday, June 20,
The Solar eclipse peaks at
2:40 a.m. EDT Saturday, June 21, and
The Solar eclipse ends at
5:34 a.m. EDT Sunday June 21st.
This Solar Eclipse marks a powerful change in direction, change in allegiances, change in priorities, and puts us all on the cutting edge of destiny.
The tipping point is not near, it’s here, and it will culminate in December when we are launched in to the freedom of the feminine, air energies of The Age of Aquarius.
We need to remember, whatever we're doing now, each of us individually and all of us collectively, our thinking, our emotional frequency, we are creating a broadcast of the vibration for that new world coming as we emerge from this year, as we emerge from this lockdown, and any other lockdowns that may happen this year, so it's such a precious opportunity that we mustn't waste, and looking around, many of us are doing fantastic jobs at taking great advantage in being creating and sending our light out in to the world.
Looking at eclipses which happened on the days of the Solar equinoxes or solstices shows that these are pivotal years for the world, when it takes a totally new direction.
When we have a Solar Eclipse sandwiched between two Lunar Eclipses like this one (June 5th-6th, this on the 20th-21st, and July 4th-5th), we often see a process of emotional upheaval and purging triggered by the first Lunar Eclipse, followed by a time of radical action and significant events at the Solar Eclipse, followed by a period of emotional repatterning and transformation at the Second Lunar Eclipse.
Productivity is up, intensity is up, the need for self-discipline is up, with Venus swirling forward and Mercury swirling backwards. This Eclipse offers us a turning point as we see the necessity of doing our thing in our own way.
The compulsion to “act” we may feel right now, however, might fall short of our desired outcome if we don’t first turn within to discern the appropriateness of our response. In essence, this Solar Eclipse primes us to think and feel with a greater degree of consciousness, and apply our thoughts and feelings to the conscious act of creating the world we desire.
The seed thoughts and feelings planted at this eclipse will grow strong and vibrant if watered with incisive wisdom, fierce compassion and a robust commitment to birth a new world from the on-going demise of the old one.
As far as is possible, we need to hold our center, stand firm, and allow whatever occurs to penetrate to our deepest core. As we do this, the wisdom of these times can arise within us, free of external dictates and the imposition of a narrative shaped by those voices that shout the loudest.
We may not, however, want to hear this wisdom right away. It may challenge too many cherished truths and blow apart too much of what feels like ‘me’. But hear it we must. For, if nothing else, these times call for the unyielding courage to see life through eyes that refuse to turn away no matter how challenging the truths perceived.
If we do nothing else, we must at least make a note of insights at this time for they will surely form an intrinsic part of our life from here on in, despite any struggle to embrace them.
Refusal to acknowledge the knot of wise apprehension in our stomach, or the sterile unhappiness of a life out of balance, deadens our senses and separates us from the unified field in which we each occupy our own unique space, as does allowing others to dictate what our feelings should be.
To return home to oneself in this way is an act of great power in an age when so much distracts us from doing so. Silence calls us now, not to shut out the world, but to understand it anew.
All eclipses shut something down, taking away elements of our lives no longer true for us. Some of us may feel restricted under this aspect, or even physically uncomfortable. If we are feeling the latter, some adjustment may be needed.
We should ask ourselves where we feel the discomfort, and how we can fix the issue. Personal comfort is a strong theme for Cancer, when this combines with the vision of Aquarius, we are encouraged to reinvent and change things up.
The old ways won’t work anymore, this is our opportunity to create new ones. We may feel tired, restless, scattered, or have a hard time focusing. But, if we take a moment, slow down, and move past the clouds, we can better see our path and vision, which we’ll need to. Over the next 5+ years we will go through endings while finding more appropriate ways to do our “Being in the Cancer Arena” of life.
Cancer is the sign representing our ability to act in our “enlightened self-interest” based in our instinctual understanding of experience.
Cancer is archetype of the Mother. She is the cosmic womb from whence we all emerge, and the Feminine energy that lives within each of us, regardless of gender.
She rules the emotions, and this period of time is unearthing many deep emotions along with core trauma that many of us have experienced. There is a lot being unburied as the tectonic plates of our world shift.
Compassion is what is needed to be seeded this Eclipse. This empathic Mother seed will have reverberations for months to come, as we continue on this journey of our evolutionary turning.
The healing salve is to allow, listen, and integrate; uphold the dignity of the human spirit; and lean into Her enveloping love, compassion and empathy for ourselves and others who are hurting.
Cancer, symbolically personified as the crab, carries Her home with her. Symbolically She is always home. She belongs.
Like Capricorn, it is the Wisdom of our ancient primal Innocence, where we instinctively know how to care for the roots which will flower in the future, and how to understand the Wisdom needed in each moment to nurture what we care for and find security in our “shell of personality.”
A Solar Eclipse in Cancer takes away old habits, self-indulgences, and insecurities, creating space to adopt better habits and a greater sense of security; old needs give way to new things we care about;
old insecurities give way to new ways of being a caring individual in our world;
old things we once clutched at or got defensive about give way to a new sense of giving and receiving in an open faith that all are being nourished appropriately;
old personality structures are replaced with new emotional connectedness with personal power and expertise.
[You’re going to need this:
The “umbra” is the darkest part of the shadow cast during an eclipse, the central cone of darkness which tapers away from the Earth or Moon, while
the “penumbra” is the outer cone of partial shadow on the outsides of the umbra on either side of the complete eclipse.]
Because this Eclipse lasts 5 hours and 48 minutes from start to finish of both sides of the penumbral phase, it’s of fairly long duration, so that translates in Astrological terms to an impact of 5 years and 9+ months.
The umbral phase, the central core, the darkest part where the eclipse will be most intense, lasts 3 hours 45 minutes, translating in Astrological terms to effects of the heart of the eclipse to last 3 years and 9 months.
As the magnitude is fairly strong, it’s powerful, and it will be most felt where it’s visible in Asia, the Middle East, southeastern Europe, and northeast Africa. specifically a path involving Ethiopia, Yemen, Oman, Pakistan, Kashmir, Tibet, the heart of China, and Taiwan.
So, don’t know if you know, our orbit around the sun is sort of level. The orbit of the moon around us is sort of tilted, it ascends and descends. Then, if we imagine the invisible trail the sun leaves in its orbit, and we imagine the invisible trail the moon leaves in its orbit, the point where they intersect on their paths is called a “node,” there are two of them. Climbing on its ascent is considered the “north node” [and in Vedic astrology, the north ascending node is called "Rahu” (the mythology has it as a dragon’s head) and on its decent it's called "Ketu” (and it’s symbolized as a dragon’s tail)].
The general astrological theory behind the significance of the Nodes suggests that we all have some underdeveloped and overdeveloped aspects in our character.
The Nodes point us to these specific qualities:
the South Node, when the moon is lazily on it's descent, suggests our overdeveloped character traits, our lazy, fall-back positions, the knee-jerk reactions we have, our often mostly unattractive go-to postures, those personality mannerisms which very may well undermine our lives, they certainly do our development, if we hold on to these traits just because we're lazy, just because we need to feel security, and, often in reality, just because we can't let go or won't get off our ass to better ourselves.
the North Node suggests the qualities that we need to develop (as we climb) in order to find inner balance, to reach our potential, to better ourselves and thus, to better the world.
The Nodes can also suggest personal karmic imbalance. If we over-emphasize and fall back on the qualities of our South Node, for instance, at the expense of developing our North Node, we may have a difficult time feeling personally successful, to say nothing of having any feelings of general accomplishment.
Whether or not we consciously work on these lessons, events in our lives are likely to force us to confront them at one time or another, so why don’t we take scheduled inventories to clean ourselves up throughout the year, hmm?
Tonight, the North Node, Raku, is in Gemini, and the challenge is to grow into a greater quest for knowledge. Being open to a greater quest for knowledge can give us spiritual and monetary wealth or influence in the future. Raku’s climb also challenges us to cultivate higher standards of expression, and encourages us to learn how to give and receive information in ways that don’t create dualities or power struggles. We are also on a quest to find higher values, and we need to accept the blessings if we are offered new Truths and futures.
When descending in South Node, Ketu in Sagittarius helps us discard and eliminate old truths, old philosophies, and old visions of the future. Ketu can also give us opportunities to express the growing understanding of Gemini energy of Raku through forms of demonstrating our willingness to “raise the bar.” Whatever is cleared out during the cleansing of the South Node’s descent will over time attract new forms of Gemini expression and activities.
This Eclipse will move us through major “forks in the road of destiny” due to aspects involving Moon, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto on the one hand, and Saturn and Neptune in an entirely different life area. It seems that we have many hard adjustments and sacrifices in life areas that will help clear a path to the greater future, but whatever is taken away will yield a void which will be opening new standards of excellence, new levels of self-demonstration, and new ideals to emulate and value.
This all culminates at the “Grand Mutation” at 1 Aquarius in December when Saturn is joined by Jupiter at 1 Aquarius, ushering in a 20 year Aquarian period AND a 200 year Air era! Ahhhh…
As this Eclipse falls on the Solstice, you can bet many things will be shut down quick and fast, given the strong Cardinal sign emphasis. This will be an “actional spiritual” Eclipse, marking the end of old familiarities and significant voids created in our personal life.
This Eclipse ushers in an extremely intense and compressed period when we have spiritual powerhouses Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto all within a 6+ degree span. This marks the entry into the second Jupiter conjunct Pluto, indicating another “expansion of Pluto” in the world.
No doubt the virus will accelerate (15 days after The Tulsa Rally tonight is the next new moon), the cry for a better world will continue, and the spotlight will force movement which will serve the structures we’ll need in the future.
This Eclipse will remove many old assumptions, habits, and ways of living our everyday lives so we may accept a greater role in our world based in whatever vision was launched in our lives in late March or April.
As Mercury is retrograde, expect returns, reviews, renewals, and reconsiderations focused on how to make our spiritual life “more real.” Mercury is always so gracious about giving us another chance to go over our notes, and finish our homework.
This Solar Eclipse will show us it’s time to “lower one flag and raise a new one,” moving into new relationships, new ways of life, new concerns, and new ways of taking care of ourselves and others.
This puts the world on the threshold of nonstop intense friction and open conflict for many months. Some will abandon old allegiances; others will see they need a new direction to stabilize their lives.
We’re still spinning in the midst of the groundswell which at the end of the storm will yield a new life for everyone in 2021. This gives us a new look at what we care about and the habits we need to reconsider as we search for new knowledge.
So we stand at a turning point in the destiny of the world and humankind, when much is irrational and new consecrations are offered to us all. We must go our own way, value each individual’s response to life within a greater compassion for the human condition, not allow self-indulgent or presumptuous people to move us, and keep our eye on the “Great Work” we and others are beginning to build.
This is all cobbled together from Komilla Sutton, John Wilkinson, Mystic Mamma, Divine Harmony, Sarah Varcas, Mystica Madrake Root, and AstroLada.
In solitude we listen to God
It's not easy to sit and trust that in solitude God will speak to you - not as a magical voice but that God will let you know something gradually over the years. And in that word from God you will find the inner place from which to live your life. Solitude is where spiritual ministry begins. That's where Jesus listened to God. That's where we listen to God. -Henri Nouwen
Hagar Names God El-Roi
We meet Hagar in the Lectionary Today (track 1), and in case we don't know her well, The Rev. L.H. Freeman introduces us to this very important lady on her blog here -> https://bit.ly/LHFonHagar and HIGHlights below:
Hagar may have been a slave and nemesis to Sarah, but she is a mother to Ishmael; she is the first person recorded in the Bible crying; she is Islam’s spiritual foremother, and she is also the first person in the Bible to name God - she called God El-Roi, אל ראי, “O God of seeing" (sometimes "The God who Sees Me"). She is only one of three women with whom God dialogues.
You'll remember there are tensions between Sarah and Hagar as Ishmael grows older, and Sarah has Abraham banish them in to the desert (with God's approval). It is in the desert where Hagar weeps, fearful for the well-being of her son, and
"...God acts, hearing the voice of the boy. 'Come, lift up your boy,' says God, 'and I will make of him a great nation.' Thus was born a key building block of Islam, with God having heard a woman in distress and saving her child. (...it was not until the eighth century, through the efforts of the prophet Mohammed, that the Abraham-Hagar union became more influential.)
The dialogue between Hagar and God is a story of relationship and action. God finds Hagar when Sarah has banished her; Hagar does what God tells her to do; Hagar recognizes that she is in the presence of the divine and names God, and, God who protects both mother and son."
p.s.: I KNOW you have a copy of the mighty work Rev. Freeman compiled, BIBLE WOMEN: ALL THEIR WORDS AND WHY THEY MATTER, documenting every word spoken in the Bible by women, right? xoxo
God Sees Us
<< Refrain
“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her,
You are the God who sees me, for she said,
I have now seen the One who sees me.”
You see me.
I am not invisible to you.
I am not overlooked by you.
You see me.
And, just like you saw Hagar,
with love and compassion,
you see me,
through eyes of love.
You see me deeply.
You see my longings, my fears,
my desires, my love, my spirit.
You see me
and I know more fully that
I am.
I am
because you gave me life.
I am
because you sustain me with your love.
I am
because you see me.
Refrain
She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her,
You are the God who sees me, for she said,
I have now seen the One who sees me. >>
=-=-=
I found THIS MAGNIFICENT reflection on Graceful Growth from Juanita Ryan (Sinking our roots more deeply every day in the soil of God's love.) https://www.juanitaryan.com/
Let's breathe, shall we?
<< Transform my doubt, that I might proclaim hope.
Transform my uncertainty, that I might proclaim faith.
Transform my stumbling, that I might proclaim forgiveness. >>
I was trying to put my finger on a quote from our Gorgeous Gabe Lamazares+ this morning, and I tripped over this one from 2016 which is JUST as glorious, and JUST as important in discipleship as everything else this beautiful spirit has ever shared with me.
It was on the occasion of the morning of Holy Saturday which is always such a wonderful time in the middle of an exhausting week. There's a little service not a lot of people observe, but I absolutely love the communal "selah" and Gabe+ really gave us something to chew on that went something like this:
<< ~ In the midst of our busy-ness and the impracticality of forcing "perfection" on our practices of this week, something our Jewish sisters and brothers teach us on the Sabbath is the act of "resting". God saw all that was created, and it was very good, and God stopped to rest in it.
Regardless the swirling which occurs around us, God asked us to rest and breathe in the perfection that is creation, regardless our current circumstances or those in the world around us. ~ >>
Let's breathe, shall we? xoxo
Thursday, June 18, 2020
Yay God ! Great job !
photo: Ajay Kumar https://twitter.com/ajaykh23 |
It's so funny to trip over this poem this morning. I don't know if the feeling every comes over you, as it does me, a flood of love, an explosion of joy an overwhelming sense of peace in just offering thanksgivings for this moment right here; that feeling of knowing where all your loved ones are at one moment in time, a contented feeling that all manner of thing shall be well ...
I'm cobbling together a bio for something, and thought, My spiritual practices and beliefs weren't really HANDED to me, I mean, I know I was raised in a faith tradition, but there was never any One True Church business going on, I was taught from early on that The Missing Years of Jesus were most probably spent on an Ashram in India, and that every spiritual practice and mythology had a Creation Story, and a flood story, and they were all just ways to explain the unexplainable.
There was nothing other than a deep Knowing in me that There Is God, that there is something outside of us which is also inside of us, and I've spent my life trying to learn more about this in any language from any one under any name every day I'm alive, trying the spirits, and synthesizing these concepts to be able to share the beauty of the simplicity of God with any one who can hear it. And against all obstacles, I just always want to say, "Thank you," and "Great job!" and "How did you come up with PERIWINKLE ! 's GAWjus !"
So it's funny Joy Meade thought the same thing too. xoxo :
<< Meditation on reason and beauty:
I watch an orange-tip
as it settles on a periwinkle
and hold the moment remembering alongside it
the dragonfly that once rested on my shoulder,
the crystal drops of rainwater on the lady’s mantle leaves,
the delicate opening
of lime-green beech leaves,
as it settles on a periwinkle
and hold the moment remembering alongside it
the dragonfly that once rested on my shoulder,
the crystal drops of rainwater on the lady’s mantle leaves,
the delicate opening
of lime-green beech leaves,
the promise
of a blossoming orchard
and the hum
of insects,
the smell of the damp woods or watercress,
of a blossoming orchard
and the hum
of insects,
the smell of the damp woods or watercress,
a deer or a fox
as it pauses and stares
making
for a moment
eye contact,
strangely uplifting.
as it pauses and stares
making
for a moment
eye contact,
strangely uplifting.
And I question:
can reason explain
the joy of these moments,
the intensity of feeling, as my body responds
and my heart leaps
as it might also
to a painting, a poem or piece of music,
the intensity of feeling, as my body responds
and my heart leaps
as it might also
to a painting, a poem or piece of music,
the way I’m moved
by colour, sound, form
by colour, sound, form
or the deep feeling that comes from watching the sea,
the waves bursting on the shore, the sense of something timeless?
the waves bursting on the shore, the sense of something timeless?
These patterns of being
and being alive
delight without dominating.
We might search
for purpose or meaning
but do we understand
the commitment to enjoy, do we understand
the noble sense,
the desire for what is right and good,
aroused by beauty.>> ~ Joy Meade
for purpose or meaning
but do we understand
the commitment to enjoy, do we understand
the noble sense,
the desire for what is right and good,
aroused by beauty.>> ~ Joy Meade
Copyright © Joy Mead 2019
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
James Weldon Johnson: You are Young, Gifted, and Black
Two poems, one from 1916, it's two stanzas TO AMERICA. The other, from 1927, a Prayer during Morning Ablutions
To America:
<< How would you have us,
as we are?
Or sinking 'neath the load we bear?
Our eyes fixed forward on a star?
Or gazing empty at despair?
<< How would you have us,
as we are?
Or sinking 'neath the load we bear?
Our eyes fixed forward on a star?
Or gazing empty at despair?
Rising or falling?
Humans or things?
With dragging pace or footsteps fleet?
Strong, willing sinews in your wings?
Or tightening chains about your feet? >>
Humans or things?
With dragging pace or footsteps fleet?
Strong, willing sinews in your wings?
Or tightening chains about your feet? >>
Listen, Lord: A Prayer
(A Prayer from God's Trombones)
(A Prayer from God's Trombones)
O Lord, we come this morning
Knee-bowed and body-bent
Before Thy throne of grace.
Knee-bowed and body-bent
Before Thy throne of grace.
O Lord—this morning—
Bow our hearts beneath our knees,
And our knees in some lonesome valley.
Bow our hearts beneath our knees,
And our knees in some lonesome valley.
We come this morning—
Like empty pitchers to a full fountain,
With no merits of our own.
Like empty pitchers to a full fountain,
With no merits of our own.
O Lord—open up a window of heaven,
And lean out far over the battlements of glory,
And listen this morning.
And lean out far over the battlements of glory,
And listen this morning.
Lord, have mercy on proud and dying sinners—
Sinners hanging over the mouth of hell,
Who seem to love their distance well.
Sinners hanging over the mouth of hell,
Who seem to love their distance well.
Lord—ride by this morning—
Mount Your milk-white horse,
And ride-a this morning—
And in Your ride, ride by old hell,
Ride by the dingy gates of hell,
And stop poor sinners in their headlong plunge.
Mount Your milk-white horse,
And ride-a this morning—
And in Your ride, ride by old hell,
Ride by the dingy gates of hell,
And stop poor sinners in their headlong plunge.
And now, O Lord, this man of God,
Who breaks the bread of life this morning—
Shadow him in the hollow of Thy hand,
And keep him out of the gunshot of the devil.
Who breaks the bread of life this morning—
Shadow him in the hollow of Thy hand,
And keep him out of the gunshot of the devil.
Take him, Lord—this morning—
Wash him with hyssop inside and out,
Hang him up and drain him dry of sin.
Wash him with hyssop inside and out,
Hang him up and drain him dry of sin.
Pin his ear to the wisdom-post,
And make his words sledge hammers of truth—
Beating on the iron heart of sin.
And make his words sledge hammers of truth—
Beating on the iron heart of sin.
Lord God, this morning—
Put his eye to the telescope of eternity,
And let him look upon the paper walls of time.
Put his eye to the telescope of eternity,
And let him look upon the paper walls of time.
Lord, turpentine his imagination,
Put perpetual motion in his arms,
Fill him full of the dynamite of Thy power,
Anoint him all over with the oil of Thy salvation,
And set his tongue on fire.
Put perpetual motion in his arms,
Fill him full of the dynamite of Thy power,
Anoint him all over with the oil of Thy salvation,
And set his tongue on fire.
And now, O Lord—
When I've done drunk my last cup of sorrow—
When I've been called everything but a child of God—
When I'm done traveling up the rough side of the mountain—
When I've done drunk my last cup of sorrow—
When I've been called everything but a child of God—
When I'm done traveling up the rough side of the mountain—
O — Mary's Baby —
When I start down the steep and slippery steps of death —
When this old world begins to rock beneath my feet —
When I start down the steep and slippery steps of death —
When this old world begins to rock beneath my feet —
Lower me to my dusty grave in peace
To wait for that great gittin'-up morning
— Amen.
To wait for that great gittin'-up morning
— Amen.
Nikki Giovanni: "The Laws of Motion (for Harlem Magic)"
This poem is a lark and doesn't end ANYWHERE you think it's going ... it ends with sucking in your cheeks and reaching for your pearls a bit. Oh, how I've loved our Nikki Giovanni long time. "The Laws of Motion (for Harlem Magic)":
--> The laws of science teach us a pound of gold weighs as
much as a pound of flour
though if dropped from any undetermined height in their natural state one would reach bottom and one would fly away
much as a pound of flour
though if dropped from any undetermined height in their natural state one would reach bottom and one would fly away
Laws of motion tell us
an inert object
is more difficult to propel than
an object heading in the wrong direction is to
turn around.
Motion being energy — inertia — apathy.
an inert object
is more difficult to propel than
an object heading in the wrong direction is to
turn around.
Motion being energy — inertia — apathy.
Apathy equals hostility.
Hostility—violence.
Violence, being energy, is its own virtue.
Laws of motion teach us
Hostility—violence.
Violence, being energy, is its own virtue.
Laws of motion teach us
Black people are no less confused because of our
Blackness than we are diffused because of our
powerlessness.
Man, we are told,
is the only animal who smiles with his lips.
The eyes, however, are the mirror of the soul
Blackness than we are diffused because of our
powerlessness.
Man, we are told,
is the only animal who smiles with his lips.
The eyes, however, are the mirror of the soul
The problem with love is not what we feel
but what we wish we felt
when we began to feel we should feel something.
Just as publicity is not production:
seduction is not seductive
but what we wish we felt
when we began to feel we should feel something.
Just as publicity is not production:
seduction is not seductive
If I could make a wish
I’d wish for all the knowledge
of all the world.
Black may be beautiful, Professor Micheau, says
but knowledge is power.
Any desirable object is bought and sold —
any neglected object declines in value.
It is against man’s nature to be in either category.
I’d wish for all the knowledge
of all the world.
Black may be beautiful, Professor Micheau, says
but knowledge is power.
Any desirable object is bought and sold —
any neglected object declines in value.
It is against man’s nature to be in either category.
If white defines Black
and good defines evil
then men define women
or women
scientifically speaking
describe men.
If sweet is the opposite of sour
and heat the absence of cold
then love is the contradiction of pain
and beauty is in the eye of the beheld
and good defines evil
then men define women
or women
scientifically speaking
describe men.
If sweet is the opposite of sour
and heat the absence of cold
then love is the contradiction of pain
and beauty is in the eye of the beheld
Sometimes I want to touch you and be touched in
return.
But you think I’m grabbing and I think you’re shirking
and Mama always said to look out for men like you
return.
But you think I’m grabbing and I think you’re shirking
and Mama always said to look out for men like you
So I go to the streets with my lips painted red
and my eyes carefully shielded
to seduce the world
my reluctant lover
and my eyes carefully shielded
to seduce the world
my reluctant lover
And you go to your men
slapping fives feeling good
posing as a man
because you know as long as you sit
very very still
the laws of motion will be in effect. >>
slapping fives feeling good
posing as a man
because you know as long as you sit
very very still
the laws of motion will be in effect. >>
Plato's Cave
Deep Thoughts on Proper 6 / Year A:
1. The Collect: YOUR HOUSEHOLD, THE CHURCH?? <"Working Her Ass Off" should be the title of the story of my life ...> #Chita #TheRink #MusicalComedyDamage hilarious
2. I don't think we allow ourselves the luxury of heeding Jesus' words enough here, and I'd like to do more of this when necessary, please. LET IT GO-wuh: << Whatever town or village you enter, find out who in it is worthy, and stay there until you leave. As you enter the house, greet it. If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet as you leave that house or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. >> We're allowed to do that and never look back. That's refreshing to me.
3. I thought of Plato's Cave reading this Gospel passage, because we're so often the ones at the mouth of the cave pointing outward calling, "Look Up ! Look Out ! Beauty is all around us! Truth is in The Light, not the shadow ! Listen to the still small voice, not the noise !" Yet most people are looking the opposite direction, head chained to the screen, watching shadow plays performed by these filthy wolves who roam about to keep us in submission as the play their shell games, instead of using Reason and listening for God's guidance.
"...be wise as serpents and innocent as doves..."
4. The Passage from Romans kinda ties it up with a bow nicely for me: << We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate endurance in us, and how that endurance, in turn, forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God has for us next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary — we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! ("the message" translation) >> xoxo
It's like a verb. It's like... you DO God. And that's a lot of work.
The Rev Dr EMC Kaeton just brought this up today in her sermon, the concept of God As a Verb. It reminded me of this: Cindy asking a rabbi if she can become a Jew:
[ <…I was raised in a church... where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I'd go to hell. If I was good, I'd go to heaven. And if I'd ask Jesus, he'd forgive me, and that was that. And here y'all saying ain't no hell... ain't... sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God's concerned, it's your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing.
It's like a verb. It's like... you DO God. And that's a lot of work.
[sighs] But I think I'm in, at least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I'll learn more... and say, "f*ck the whole thing." I mean … but ...
I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be IN it to do that, you know, does that make sense? sh1t, did I just talk myself out of it? f*ck.
{Ask me again.} [sighs] Can I be a Jew?
and the rabbi says, {“Yes.”} > ]
May your faith come to let you believe like a child
They're praying and praising and teaching and doing mighty acts of worship over to the Emerywood Baptist in High Point, people. They have services here on Facebook led by The Divine Rev. Timothy Peoples of Yale Divinity, tyvm, and a piece of my heart happens to be the Children's Minister, and doesn't she sit at Table in her home during these virtual services and tell you tales of Jesus and how easy his love is, and then isn't she mother to The Family von Trapp over there, each and every one of them so brilliantly gifted in that house.
This picture is of signage their church likes to pass around, it's some of the lyrics from a Praise & Worship song that's so comforting. The original Vineyard recording is on the jump below, and here are the full and gorgeous words:
<< May your peace be an anchor in stormy tide,
may your hope run like a river that’ll never run dry
May your burdens grow light,
may your worries subside,
this is my prayer for you
May your soul grow deep,
may your joy run wild
May your heart know the face of mercy has smiled
May your faith come to let you believe like a child
This is my prayer for you. >>
Written by: Bill Mallonee & Julie Miller
song video here: https://youtu.be/CUn0mgk5njY
https://www.facebook.com/EmerywoodBaptist/ xoxo
song video here: https://youtu.be/CUn0mgk5njY
https://www.facebook.com/EmerywoodBaptist/ xoxo
Letting Go, a meditation on ageing, Joy Meade
let action go.
make Silence visible.
savour the Being Time,
the beauty of emptiness.
make Silence visible.
savour the Being Time,
the beauty of emptiness.
Consider:
the waving white silence
of cow parsley that neither
reaps nor sows,
the waving white silence
of cow parsley that neither
reaps nor sows,
or how we might look
at the horizon on a clear day
without The Need to Know
what The End looks like.
at the horizon on a clear day
without The Need to Know
what The End looks like.
let go the longing to explain.
ours now is only to wonder.
ours now is only to wonder.
the mind cannot carry away within it
all that beauty has to give
yet it has Room Enough
for small treasures.
all that beauty has to give
yet it has Room Enough
for small treasures.
what is it we see
or imagine to be real and true?
or imagine to be real and true?
I remember a sea of blue
that was, I think,
what Music might mean
and I remember stealing the blue,
singing on the way home
with my arms full of bluebells,
thinking the abundance for always
until the flowers faded
in the vase
that was, I think,
what Music might mean
and I remember stealing the blue,
singing on the way home
with my arms full of bluebells,
thinking the abundance for always
until the flowers faded
in the vase
and I began to learn
The Wisdom that left the flowers
and held The Looking,
The Wisdom that left the flowers
and held The Looking,
the knowing that I will pass
and Beauty continue
to amaze without me.
and Beauty continue
to amaze without me.
=-=-=
A shade are you in the heat, O God,
A shelter are you in the cold.
Eyes are you to the blind, O God,
A staff are you to the weak.
An island are you at sea, O God,
A rock are you on land.
A shelter are you in the cold.
Eyes are you to the blind, O God,
A staff are you to the weak.
An island are you at sea, O God,
A rock are you on land.
O my soul's healer,
Keep me at evening
Keep me at morning
Keep me at noon.
Keep me at evening
Keep me at morning
Keep me at noon.
I am tired, astray and stumbling,
Shield me from distraction.
O my soul's healer,
Help keep my eyes raised and on you.
Shield me from distraction.
O my soul's healer,
Help keep my eyes raised and on you.
Copyright © Joy Mead 2019
June 2020 Mercury Retrograde Warning
STOP ! LOOK ! LISTEN ! PLEASE ! The next few weeks, especially, are going to be interesting astrologically speaking. Believe it or not, I don't really care, but I do care about spilling things, knocking in to things, breaking things, computer crashes, inter-personal communication frustrations, and general self-care. I myself personally have daily chores down to a gorjus choreography, and flow easily from one repetitive task to another so I don't really have to concentrate on what I'm doing, I just have to check my props at the top of the show and Chassé Chantez, ta-da. AT THESE TIMES, when all the planets are pulling and tugging and swirling and twirling, we need to really BREATHE, we need to really live MINDfully, like: Find the cup. Regard the cup. Reach toward the cup. Caress the cup. Grasp the cup. Bring the cup to your lips. Sip the liquid. Enjoy the liquid. Replace the cup and set it gently from whence it came. ... Trust me, it's gonna save you on rags and laundry and frustrations. BACK ! UP ! YOUR ! DATA ! Save OFTEN ! make COPIES. if you have a gmail address then you've got FIFTEEN GIGS available at drive dot google dot com, you know that, right? (if you don't have a gmail address then just make one and never use it.) anyway, blessings, lovies. it can all be so easy if we just breathe and remain awake while we're alive. xoxo
For wisdom is more *mobile* than any motion; because of Her pureness.
We read a passage last night from The Book of Wisdom (of Solomon), and here is this concept again while I’m reading Evelyn Underhill this morning. Stick with it, it’s some meaty stuff (and some witchy Magical Thinking), and just might be the NOOM app for Spirit and Soul (“the Support You Need to Deal with Cravings in a Healthy Way!").
<< For wisdom is more *mobile* than any motion;
because of Her pureness
She pervades and penetrates all things.
For She is a breath of the power of God,
and a pure emanation of the glory of the Almighty;
therefore nothing defiled gains entrance into Her. >>
Held tight as it seems to us in the finite,
committed to the perpetual rhythmic changes,
the unceasing flux of "natural" life —
which is compelled to pass on from its “reality”:
to be born, to grow, to age, to die—
there is yet,
as we discover recollecting
(which is why so many are wary of quiet and solitude, being alone and still with These Huge Thoughts),
something in us which endures through this temporal life
and therefore transcends this world of constant change.
This inhabitant,
this mobile spirit,
can spread and merge in to the general consciousness,
add its light to the sum of The Light
bathe itself exchanging energies
and gather itself again to one intense point of personality.
this mobile spirit,
can spread and merge in to the general consciousness,
add its light to the sum of The Light
bathe itself exchanging energies
and gather itself again to one intense point of personality.
It has, too, an innate knowledge of— an instinct for— another, greater rhythm, another hum, another order of Reality, as yet outside its conscious field;
or as we say,
it has an innate capacity for the Infinite.
or as we say,
it has an innate capacity for the Infinite.
This capacity,
this unfulfilled craving
(which the cunning mind of the practical person suppresses and disguises as best it can),
is the source of all our unrest.
this unfulfilled craving
(which the cunning mind of the practical person suppresses and disguises as best it can),
is the source of all our unrest.
More,
it is the true origin of all our best loves and enthusiasms,
the inspiring cause of our heroisms and achievements;
which are but oblique and tentative efforts to still that strange hunger for some final object of devotion,
some completing and elucidating vision,
some total self-donation,
some great and perfect Act within which our little activity of “living” can be merged.
it is the true origin of all our best loves and enthusiasms,
the inspiring cause of our heroisms and achievements;
which are but oblique and tentative efforts to still that strange hunger for some final object of devotion,
some completing and elucidating vision,
some total self-donation,
some great and perfect Act within which our little activity of “living” can be merged.
Thomas Aquinas says that we are only withheld from this desired vision of the Divine Essence, this discovery of the Pure Act (which indeed is everywhere anyway pressing in on us from all sides),
by the apparent necessity which we are under of turning to concrete images of God and Spirit, to make sense of it all;
of breaking up our innate and continuous and living intuition into Conceptual scraps ...
in other words, because we cannot live the life of Sensation without concrete forms to tether us to earth.
by the apparent necessity which we are under of turning to concrete images of God and Spirit, to make sense of it all;
of breaking up our innate and continuous and living intuition into Conceptual scraps ...
in other words, because we cannot live the life of Sensation without concrete forms to tether us to earth.
But it is NOT the way, it is merely our mental machinery which is under this "necessity."
If we can only use this time right here and now to chant and believe the ancient prayers, we can finally allow ourselves to see the face of God and become one with God’s universe:
Lead us from unreal to Real,
Lead us from darkness to the Light,
Lead us from the fear of Death, to Knowledge of Immortality
May God protect us,
Grant us Wisdom’s fruit,
May we gain energy to know the Truth,
May our intellects grow clear and bright,
May we cherish no ill feelings towards anyone.
OM Peace Peace Peace
May the entire Universe be filled with Peace
and Joy, Love and Light.
May the Light of Truth overcome all darkness.
Victory to that Light!
Marina the Monk (Coptic: Ϯⲁⲅⲓⲁ Ⲙⲁⲣⲓⲛⲁ ⲛ̅ⲁⲥⲕⲏⲧⲏⲥ)
We got a YENTL situation here today: Marina the Monk (Coptic: Ϯⲁⲅⲓⲁ Ⲙⲁⲣⲓⲛⲁ ⲛ̅ⲁⲥⲕⲏⲧⲏⲥ).
Seems after her mother died, her father intended to marry her off and then retire to the Monastery of Qannoubine in the Kadisha Valley of Lebanon. That's what SHE wanted to do too! So she pulled a Yentl, and lived an austere life, happily ever after.
A time after her father died, the Abbot
(“Bud Abbott?" /
“Sure'd be nice if you got one of these right.
No, Rose, THE Abbot.” #TheGoldenGirls)
sent Marina off with two other monks to attend to some business outside the monastery walls.
(“Bud Abbott?" /
“Sure'd be nice if you got one of these right.
No, Rose, THE Abbot.” #TheGoldenGirls)
sent Marina off with two other monks to attend to some business outside the monastery walls.
During the night, the Innkeeper's daughter lost her, uh, maidenhead at the hands of a Roman soldier, who told her, should she find herself preggers, to say, "it was the monk, Father Marinos, who has done this to me".
Fast Forward, the Inn Keeper comes to the monastery with the baby, she says nothing, they throw Marina out of the place, and she raises the child outside the gates of the monastery.
Fast Forward some more, the monks convince the Abbot to allow Marina to return, which he did, but he imposed heavy penalties like the "hard labour of cooking, cleaning and carrying water in addition to regular monastic duties and caring for the child" (which basically sounds like a Thursday over here, anyone?).
Well she gets sick and dies. They go to prepare her body for burial, TA-DA ! low and behold, The Desert Father is a Mother! So, the Abbot comes to the body to weep bitterly for the wrongs done, the inn keeper went and wept for the pain and suffering which he had unjustly brought upon Marina, during the funeral one of the monks who was blind in one eye received full sight, and
p.s.:
God allowed a devil to torment the inn keeper's daughter and the soldier until they came to her body and confessed their iniquity in front of everyone and asked for forgiveness.
p.s.:
God allowed a devil to torment the inn keeper's daughter and the soldier until they came to her body and confessed their iniquity in front of everyone and asked for forgiveness.
THEE end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)